Less Dieting, More Self-Righteous Spouting Off

I read an article this morning that really got my bowels moving! It was some blessed Evangelical guy blahblahblahing about how Mitt Romney ought not run for president and can't do so without the Holy Right's blessing and Mormons (of all people) are dangerous.

Gah.

Ok.

Deep Breath.

This is AMERICA where we have freedom of choice, the right to exercise religion how we see fit, and the right to toot our horns as loudly as we like (unless there is a local sound ordinance). I don't care if you think the Mormon church is a cult, even an EVIL cult. I can't really look at ANY religion too closely without thinking it's awfully brainwashy cultish. THAT is what makes religion fun.

(This is the tone that makes sure I never get nominated for Mormon Mommy Blogs Posts of the Week.)

What I want in MY American President (besides ovaries) is someone who can RESPECT everyone's right to be unique. My bosses are from India and are Hindus. That is a wacky religion. Some of the students are too. Sometimes they come to school with red dots on their foreheads. Sometimes they are fasting. I'm pretty sure they don't believe in Jesus, not the Evangelical one OR the Mormon one. But they are good people working hard to provide a good, safe school for children. There are Jewish children who also don't believe in Jesus ... Muslims ... religious beliefs should not play as important a role as the tolerance of religious beliefs.

What I do NOT want is ANY person who agrees to be led around by the nose by the Religious "Right." What good is the two party system, separation of Church and State, and Freedom at all if big, bossy groups with lots of money tell the leaders "DO WHAT I SAY IS RIGHT OR ELSE..."?

I don't want Mitt Romney for president because I am lazy and really hate having to constantly defend the entire soggy history of my church. I like my religion. I enjoy the mental gymnastics and guilt motivated opportunities to do and be good. But I really don't care to explain my choices to argumentative Evangelicals. Other than that, I think he'd do a bang up job. I think Mormons have a unique understanding of what it is like to have your beliefs called into microscopic question. We know what a tremendous blessing it is to be free to worship how we choose; we've had the right denied us in the past. I think a Mormon President should be more accepting of all the wide and beautiful ways we celebrate the divine around us.

I ask you, especially those who tend to vote Republican: do not favor a candidate who bows to the Religious "Right". 

Is it an election year again already?? Sigh ... I thought we had another YEAR.

Weigh in: 138.6 (after reading aforementioned article) (really failing on the sugar and carbs ... and I was sick. But getting used to debunning burgers.)

Just Another Week To Go

It's working still. The stricter I am, the better it works.

Eight days till B-day ... 3.2 pounds to goal achievement. Gonna be super strict and then have cheesecake to celebrate.

I turned down CHOCOLATE CAKE yesterday.

Probably would have made me insane anyway. My body is getting used to not being saturated in sugar. I think.

I'm gonna run before the whining of my children makes me brain explode. Because I already cleaned the house this morning ...

Spoiled

I have a confession. I got a massage today. It is the biggest unjustifiable indulgence I have ever allowed myself. I doesn't burn any calories to lie there and be blissified, but I think it's miraculous.

The children I work with are defiant and aggressive and difficult at times, I have the bruises to prove it. I have to ever so carefully bend their will to mine with techniques that take so much patience and control, whew. My neck and shoulder muscles tie themselves up like the chains in my necklace drawer. I clench my jaw and grind my teeth. I say, "Calm down, take a deep breath," at them, but really to myself.

It's a very hard job, taking care of your kids. Trying to teach them to be people and not mindless fluffheads who can't do nuffin' but whine and poop.

And (while I am ranting anyway) y'all don't help when you reinforce their crying at goodbye time with extra hugs and kisses. I know you hate to leave them crying; I don't love it either, but get a routine. Grab a puzzle or color a picture or read a story, give 'em big hug, say, "I love you. I have to go to work and I will see you later. Goodbye," give your snotty, screaming bundle to me and walk out. They stop crying in 30 seconds. Seriously. Sit outside the door and listen. They are just crying for you because it keeps you longer and they really do like you better, but I'm a pretty decent proxy. Once they understand that you WILL be back and ARE leaving NOW, they won't waste their time crying, there's a lot better stuff to do.

If things were ideal, I would highly recommend a morning class starting at age 2 (and it's not a big deal to eat lunch at school then take a nap there ...). And 5 days a week. The routines are important. 2-3 times a week is just chaotic. Do it or don't. It'd be nice if moms or dads would set up home to be as stimulating with freedom within limits, but teaching kids colors, letters, shapes, numbers, self-feeding, getting dressed, potty training, sharing, manners, ETC. takes a lot of time and ya gotta be consistent, AND it's easier to be consistent when its your real life job. I'm a much better teacher to my kids as a teacher than I was a mom. No handy, dandy, blogged filled laptop at school.

Weigh-in: 139.4. Had a Caramel Sundae after Crichton's Talent Show. He rocked, by the way. I frikken love that super confident amazing rockstar big baby of mine. He's thinking about his piece for next years show ... some kind of guitar anthem piece. It's super amazingly fun and wonderful to watch your own children do stuff. You totally see them as these giant balls of super colossal potential just pulsating and expanding day by day. A little piece of you sparkling in a supernova of fantasticness.

Massages really improve ones mood and outlook. You should try it. Makes your whiny brats seem not so unbearable.

HAHA, Take that 140's

Hungry? 

(I am.)

I just wanna take all that gunk

And do some magic, hocus pocus, no carbs baby, 

use up the fat in my arms please, and get it to shrink up a little.

I didn't get there on Monday, but Tuesday morning made me smile. 139.6 pounds. I feel like I cracked a code or discovered a secret.

May 9th, 146.4

May 24th, 139.6

That's almost 5 pounds in 15 days. In a year, that would be 100 pounds and I would weigh less than Canon and prolly be dead, which is not the goal. I just wanna loose another 5 or so, thanks.

It does make sense, you know. Carbs turn into sugar which is used right away or stored as fat. If you want to break down the fat stores, you have to force your body to do it by not providing it the easy, instant source. When I am at a weight level I want to maintain, I can eat carbs again and as long as my daily caloric intake is maintained and balanced with exercise and activity.

Liposuction would be easier I think. Faster. But more cost effective? NAY! This poor girl from Burley, Idaho is NOTHING if not frugal.

How DO you get the watery whoosh sound out of your ears when you swim a lot????

Fun Fun Friday

Work day done. I even scrubbed a toilet first thing when I got home. Maybe I will even sweep, vacuum, and load the dishwasher. Because it is FUN FUN FRIDAY and nothing is funner than housework.

As long as you have the right musica playing.

I'm feeling like Pink today. Pink with Harry Belefonte. That should be just about perfect.

Pink Bananas :) Who knew?

I ate black beans and carrots with ranch for lunch. I ate while playing on the computer. I think they were good, but I didn't notice.

I weighed in at 141.0 this morning after eating three ILLEGAL pieces of Dominos Pepperoni Fest with olives and mushrooms. Ahhh they were tasty, but my tummy did not approve and it rejected it post haste and with no concern or regard for my general comfort.

In other news, we are potty training Sagan. This is day 13. She peed in the potty this morning :) and I rejoiced. It's kind of hard to potty train my child while being teacher to half a dozen other kids, too, but we are getting there. She seems to be getting better at the muscles development and recognizing when she needs to go. Sometimes it makes me mad that it only took Crichton 1 week to potty train. He made me think I knew what was what. Canon certainly has helped my fully understand and accept that I do NOT, in fact, know what is or is not what. I know nothing. I am faking it.

Ok. Gonna change into workout clothes to finish cleaning and then maybe I'll work out too. I think I'm gonna be pretty strict this weekend ... and have my self a grad party too. I'm a gemini - we like duality and dichotomy and such.

Thurday is Like Friday Eve

Weighed in at 141.8 this morning. I'd be super happy to start next week under 140.

Yesterday was awful. I felt terrible emotionally and physically. I think it was lack of food. I had a 50 calorie vegetable soup and a 0 calorie soda and that was all until 4:00. BUT by then, I was too grumpy, irritable, and lethargic to move. Probably dehydrated, too.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! It talks at you.

I think it is really vital to listen and respond to your body. I feel like I am getting better at it (besides yesterday). I can't even tell you how much more mellow I feel with my current diet. Cutting out a lot of the sugar highs and lows has made me feel much more patient and consistent, which is good because the monkeys in my class make me a little crazy.

And I thought I'd be really hungry without those three to six or eleven servings of carbs per day. I think of carbs as the "fill up your tummy" foods, especially warm, fluffy, fresh bread.

Then, I wondered, how much food can your stomach hold??

So I asked the Internet god, Goggle. And google thus showeth unto me: this. And the answer is a gallonish. (Interesting side note: a children's stomach is about as big as their fist. Don't make kids eat too much and give them really high quality food.)

Truly, I don't feel hungry much at all. Yesterday, I did, but I let myself be distracted rather than foraging for food.. "Hungry" is your stomach's signal that it is ready to digest s'more food. But if you hold out, your stomach goes foraging on its own. Into your fat cells (I hope).

I don't think "satisfied" comes from filling up your tummy with carbs. I think it might come from fat. And internet god says your brain really really loves fat. We need a 1:1 balance of omega 3 and 6. The American diet throws that off by like 20:1. Eat more fish, they say. And less sugar.

Perhaps I'll add my fish oil pills back into my vitamin regimen.

And maybe more exercise. I did great with week one; kinda slacking back on week two. I counted "playing guitar" for an hour at 2 calories a minute. I'm gonna try getting up for a short walk in the morning before my "morning constitutional." Morning runs would be nice, but I'm too sleepy for all that. A walk. Hmmm. Maybe.

It's Wednesday Again?

Summary for last week, I started at 146 and ended at 142 but now it's the middle of week two and I am at 143 as I may have been a little lax about the rules.

TIME TO RECOMMIT!

If we want things to work, we have to follow the rules. No fruit, yet alone FROZEN CUSTARD, Brandy Nichole Roth! What were you thinking? Hungry? Try carrots BEFORE peperoni.

Sigh.

I feel bloated.

I am bloated. I miss my pretty pills. The ones that blocked the testosterone and helped with water retention all while making my complexion better. I need those. And maybe the acai berry pills again. The caffeinated ones.

I ate crow for breakfast. I said I'd do laundry, but I didn't do laundry and I couldn't bear to be the kind of person who says they will do laundry and then doesn't do laundry. That kind of person is unworthy of love. Instead, I tried very hard to prove it was someone else's fault. But in reality, it wasn't a big deal. Sometimes we get busy and laundry doesn't get done and we just say, "Sorry. Here are some mostly unstinky underwear. I'll get some laundry done tomorrow," and no one dies and everyone is fine.

See, I can learn stuff.

Now I gotta work out really hard for a long time. Was a rough morning at school. Sigh.

In other news, my mother is taking an extended forced vacation to Idaho. She's leaving tomorrow.

Deep inhale. Long Exhale.

Smile.

How To Eat a Whole Days Worth of Calories for Lunch

Oh Rudy's.

I really, really LOVE you.

I hadn't eaten anything at 2 p.m. And I was very hungry. Husband decided to take me to the "Worst BBQ in Texas."

Attached to a shell station ... customers carrying around big plastic bottle trays ... bags of water hanging precariously from the ceiling ... wax paper in lieu of plates ... hunks a' cheese ... ala carte by the pound?

Brilliant!

The moist brisket. Sweetie you simply MUST try the moist brisket. The sauce, holy crap in a bottle! The sausage. AND A PICKLE!

I had 1/4 lb moist brisket, 1/4 lb turkey, 1/2 sausage link, small potato salad, pickle, hunk a' cheese, diet coke and my caloric total for the day went from ZERO to 1,463 in about 20 minutes. That's about 200 too much.

I walked for 30 minutes. That only counts off 120 calories tho. Doesn't even make up for the small potato salad. Yet alone the Moise Brisket. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

But now I gotta burn a few more. Wonder if the kids wanna go swimming ... ("Nope," says Cri. "Ow," says Cri (cuz I punched him)).

No more food for me. Maybe celery. Hey, boys and girls, be careful when you eat. Food is sneaky sometimes.

Weight: 143.4

WHY?! (Rerun)

Yesterday I  ... ate several carbs. Exhale. It feels good to confess. I ate two tacos from Chipotle (mmmmm). AND a late night halfa almond butter and raspberry sandwich on BREAD (whole wheat of course)! And popcorn.

Also, I adjusted my activity level from "very" to "light". As it turns out, "very" is like a professional athlete or a trainer or someone who basically works out 8 hours a day. "Moderate" would be someone who has a pretty demanding job. Like a farmer maybe. Or roofer. The livestrong.com folks said "child care" was a "light" activity level. That change decreased my caloric intake recommendation from 1,700ish to 1,100ish.

So, yesterday I did quite awful with the carb eating and activity level changing. 1,654 calories ingested. In the Red.

BUT today has been and will continue to be better. I invented a new food. I call it Lettuce Taco Perfectimundo. That Chipotle taco last night was so tasty and I couldn't bear to profane such elegance bu just dumping the contents out of the evil carbohydrate infused holding apparatus (taco shell) and spooning 'em in. Thus, I ate them, soft, flour shell and all.

Then, as I was sauteing some peppers and onions and chicken and ham, I thought, "This would be tasty as a sandwich. Or with rice. Or in sauce on pasta. Sigh. Maybe a salad. Sigh."  (Gimme a break, it was raining today so I had been trapped inside for 5 hours with dozens of small crazy people. You'd sigh, too.)

As I pulled out the Romain Lettuce head, those wonderful fluffy leaves inspired me. I gently set three big leaves on my plate. Then dumped the contents of the frying pan onto to the side. I carefully spooned a bit of happiness into each leaf, rolled it up, and TADAAH!! Lettuce Taco Perfectimundo.I am a super genius.

Someone may have had a similar idea back in 2008.

I have a feeling this innovation will lead to Lettuce Sandwich Glory and Lettuce Rolls of Simple Joy.

It's crunchy; it's handy; it's ROMAIN LETTUCE saving weirdos who wanna eat.

Weighed in a a steady 144.0. Felt very temped by the chocolate and candy isle at Wal-mart.

Carbs Shmarbs - Who Needs 'Em

I have some long term food storage. I carry it along with me: my tummy, bum, arms, thighs. They recommend rotating food storage, you know: use up the old stuff.  I'm trying that for a while. Empty out the "pantry" start fresh.

Day 3 of my magic new food eating thing. I fixed the food pyramid for you.

Husband says I should soon experience colitis ... no ... cartosis? What was it? Ketosis. That's is. He's researched all this stuff. He's pretty much an expert (an expert who knows stuff and chooses not to apply it personally. Like a smoker with lung cancer, he is).

Ketosis is the point where your body says, "FINE! You're REALLY not giving me carbs?! Effing Jerk. OK. Fine. FINE!! I will burn off some of that fat cells and then we will see who's sad when it comes time for FAMINE! But don't say I didn't warn you."

Husband says I might be tired and need a nap.So ... I don't think ketosis is here yet. Or maybe I was already there.

Yesterday I ran two miles. Later I went swimming with oldest child (we are in love with the community pool). I consumed 1,352 calories.

This morning the scale said 144.0.

I haven't had any bread or pasta or rice this week. I don't know that my family could or should live on this diet, but I am starting to kind of like it. It's like a challenge to keep my calories down and not feel hungry (tho, I just eat if I feel hungry and stop when I don't); to have a limited (but pretty varied, now) choice of food. For lunch I was gonna eat a cucumber, a green pepper, and some terribly fatty sodium engorged sausages (does the phrase "engorged sausages" mean this post gets flagged for adult content?). But a whole cucumber and a whole green pepper where too much. (I did eat all the .. hmmm ... adult content).

I don't think my body minds much that I have taken away an entire food group. It's almost as though my body has evolved through history to eat mainly meats and vegetables and doesn't need highly processed grain products much at all. Interesting. No headaches (muscle aches from upping the activity levels). No super energy slump around 3. I do take a morning multi-vitamin with 80 mg caffeine (if caffeine is in your vitamin, caffeine IS a vitamin). And I have a 12 oz. can of diet cherry coke diluted in a 32 oz cup of ice. Otherwise it's just water. I should probably include some milk in the mix, for my old bones.

It's just for a month. You could do it too. So far, so good.

One Day Done

I signed up with livestrong.com to help me track my caloric intake and usage. Its an amazingly helpful website. I also purchased the iPhone app version ($2.99) which is crazy useful as well.

You enter all your food, it calculates automatically. Enter in your activities. Click your water drinkage if you wanna. It really is very very useful for this kind of project.

Based on my weight, height, gender, and activity level, they say I should eat 1,732 calories a day.

Yesterday I ate 1,136 calories.

I did eat both carbs and sugar (disappointed finger wag!). Once with a bite of frosted brownie and once with some Marshmallow Maties. But I ran a mile, lifted weights, and stretched, burning 317 calories, so my net calories were 819.

Today I spent $30 on green things, meat products, and beans. I walked into the store and saw this lovely watermelon half for $1.72. And cut pineapple for $3.28. I touched them both lovingly and gazed at the berries as well. Fruit is not on my list for a while (wait til Saturday, precious pineapple: you and me, I promise.).

Tho, I kind of love beans. Even right out of the can. Kidney, Black, Pinto. I love beans.



Last night, when deciding what to eat, it wasn't so much about making a meal, it was finding things on my short list of acceptable food (vegetables and proteins mostly, with some cheese thrown in because it is so tasty). I'd locate something, eat it, then try to find something else. I realized I was going to run out of broccoli and get sick of carrots, to say nothing of poached chicken quickly if I didn't find some extra things to vary it all up.

There are a lot of beans to try :) Chick peas, garbanzo, butter beans ....

I weighed in this morning at 144.6 lbs. My body weight typically varies by 1-3 pounds no matter what I do, so I will get all excited when that number is closer to 135. Or 145 with no jiggles would also be acceptable. Well, a couple jiggles, but that's it!

I think I will run and swim today. Then eat some more.

Ten Pounds One Month - Will Power Challenge

(This will be a boring blog for a month, go find some new cool ones to read. I'm doing something here).

So, today I weighed in at the heaviest I have for a while. I've been eating and not exercising. The frosting and brownies haven't helped. The birthday cakes, the I'm Sorry Cheesecakes, the running once a week, but only  if my shoes are lucky.

But we can fix all that, right? My current work schedule allots me the afternoon. As my children slumber away at the school we all go to (except public school Crichton), I can totally exercise and and eat stop overeating.

I can be hot by my birthday if I just practice the art of delayed gratification for a month. I think.

Here's the Rules:

1. No carbs. Ok, ONE a day. That's one slice of bread, one serving or rice or pasta (tennis ball sized), one small potato. ONLY if I'm starving nigh unto death. Otherwise. NONE.

2. No sugar. That means sucrose, fructose, etc. and limited aspartame. No cakes, candy, pastries, sorbets, juice, or even fruit. Ok, one fruit per day, but ONLY if I am starving nigh unto death.

3. Eating protein and veggies. Cheese maybe. Nuts, chicken, fish, beef, pork, broccoil, carrots, celery, spinach, etc. Fresh, steamed, or cooked in the healthiest manner I can tolerate.

5. Exercising 1-2 HOURS per day. Cardio, weights, yoga, stretching, swimming, walking, dancing crazy like, whatever. Buttload of moving muscles.

6. Hover gently at 1800 calories a day.

7. No Rules on Saturday.

That's the plan, Stan, tho I am open to suggestions, if ya got 'em.

I hope to loose 2-3 pounds per week, about 10 for the month preceding my birthday.

Daily Morning weight report.

5-9-11: 146.4

Daily Food Log

So far today:

1 Excedrin (stupid brownie hangover)
1  multi-vitiamin
1/24 large apple
12 oz. water

caloric estimation: 10ish?

Ok, let's run.

I Am High on Coconut Fumes

I got this pack of sorbet from the Costco (cuz I'm a member of that elitist establishment). It is a delightfully delicious sorbet set INSIDE carved out fruit. It is my new favorite thing in the universe! I had coconut last night. Then I wanted to eat another so I could make a coconut bikini. Or horse hooves.

Anyway, still suffering the effects (yes, of coconut sorbet!), I sat down to write a post about how we, as Americans ought to be dignified in our responses towards the death of Bin Laden. And I sincerely meant it. After 9-11, the media showed celebrations in the Middle East at our loss. That behavior was horrific, let's not stoop. Lets be sober and calm, knowing that some kind of justice has been met.

But then I read this post and it made me much happier. Really, this is a great blog to read if you'd like to smile and she also makes the best clocks in the known universe. And amusing plates. And gloriously breakable coffee mugs.

Anyway. Read:

I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college rule constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play Rock Paper Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh sorry, I thought paper would protect you.”

See, that's way better than a pious plea for decorum, isn't it? (That's what happens when you eat tropical fruit.)

(Wait, is coconut a fruit? I think it's a nut cocoNUT? Hmmm ... lemme have another and I will return and report.)

It's ....... a drupe.

Delicious Bait 'n Switch at Wendy's

You got me. The old Bait N Switch.

Wendy's is my personal favorite burger chain. They have, hands down, the BEST fast food salads, better than a lot of sit down restaurants. That's what I was going for today. $3.99 half salad, Chicken-Bleu-Cheese-Happy-Goodness-With-Cranberries-Even Salad.

BUT THEN! What to my wondering eyes should appear? A NEW YUMMY CHICKEN SANDWICH TO TRY? Mmmmmmm ... Bruchetta Chicken. Yummy diced tomatoes, basil, and balsamic vinegar. And, look at that sign: it must be just $2.99, right? That's the only price listed on the sign ...

"We will have your total at the window."

Okie dokie, here's my debit card, "Wait, what? $7.46?! Sandwich and a drink?!  How is that possible?"

"No, it is right."

"B... B... The sign said $2.99"

"No, that is for the Homestyle Chicken Sandwich. It is a totally DIFFERENT sandwich."

"Oh. Your sign is confusing."

"No it isn't."

Blert! It is too. Totally confused me. Swear word. Why, I oughtta drive around the drive thru again and take a picture with my iPhone and blog about this experience, by Jingo.

(And here we are.) (See, if she would have said, "I am SORRY for the misunderstanding," y'all would have never known any of this ever happened.)(Have you totally noticed how often I throw "y'all" around now that I'm a native Texan?)

Nevertheless, I am somewhat miffed to report, the sandwich was absolutely delicious. Super yummy. Probably gonna have regular cravings. Will have to alternate between Sonic's Delicious-Yet-Revolting-I-Am-Ashamed-Yet-In-Love Chicago Dog and Wendy's Bruchetta Chicken Over-Priced Sandwich. Sigh.

Should have just had the salad.