Stuff That Sucks

1. I'm not allowed to be that weird, but I bet, if I was allowed, I would be. It's for the best that Greg keeps a hold of my kite strings. For now.





2. My kids sleep way better at nap time at school than they do at night at home. I think I will confiscate their beds and bedrooms and give them plastic mats to sleep on in a closet (we have big closets). I will turn one room into a dance club, one into an exercise/fitness room, and the other into a room for plants to grow and people to rehearse songs and monologues (for an hourly fee).





3. Every room in my house has collapsed/been torn asunder as I have been "finishing my degree" for all of March. I live with a bunch of pigs. Mmmm.

4. I have given up food for until I am no longer fat. I have gained almost 10 pounds this month because the best way for me to concentrate for long periods of time is to have food next to me and constantly eat. Sometimes that food was a Costco sized bag of potato chips and a tub of sour cream with a package of dry ranch dressing mixed in for dipping. Other times is was a plate full of tortilla chips covered in melted cheese. There are about 5 cases worth of soda cans strewn about - Cherry Coke Zero and Diet Dr. Pepper; we don't DRINK our calories. Also, tacitos. And edamame. Candy, popsicles, cheesecake. I ate an entire cheesecake. Loco Coco. 5 Hour energy drinks. My poor, poor body. What have I done to you? NO FOOD TIL YOU STOP BEING FAT! Ok, a little food. Baby carrots.



5. I have to stop blogging now and send in my finished works so the nice folks at BYU will send me a nice piece of paper telling me I may already be a winner.



See ya tomorrow, bring a friend.

I Snart All The Time

We were sitting on the couch (the smelly one) (the downstairs smelly one) catching up on 30 Rock episodes. They are even funnier watched back to back ... long term running jokes.

Liz Lemon. By far, my favorite TV character ever. Since ALF.

Greg says, "Does Liz Lemon ever remind you of ...."

"ME?! You think I'm like Liz Lemon I remind you her me?!"

Blerg.

I stole the Sombrero.

There is a giant mutated spider behind me ... he was camera shy.

This me me, the day after Halloween ... good times.

This is me, strolling casually past my mirror with a camera. Acting natural. Doo do doo.

I'm not weird at all.

I Want To Help Japan

I hate disasters. I don't watch TV or the news much. Hours and hours of trauma traumatize me. Facts like "they have run out of body bags" make me want to cry.

Suggestions from a Mom currently in Japan:

• Donate money to LDS Philanthropies 
• Donate to the Red Cross.  
• Donate to Operation Backpack.  

You can put together a backpack of goodies for a Japanese child and send it to the Misawa Girl Scouts for distribution.  I believe this idea originated at a different American base in Japan but was adopted by our Girl Scout Troop here.

This is a great project for kids to help with.  Here is some of the information:

We will be collecting packs and items until 15 May 2011.

Example of items for a backpack could include:

• paper, pen, crayons
• coloring books
• flashlights w/ batteries
• stuffed animals
• playing cards
• comics
• tissue
• non-perishable snacks
• new or gently used backpacks
• games
• hats
• small blankets
• toothpaste/brush
• lotion
• chapstick
• hairbrush/comb

Please no clothes and provide extra batteries for electronic items.

Please indicate whether your backpack is for a girl, boy, or either sex.  
Also indicate the general age.
The backpacks can be a clean, used backpack or a new one.

Items can be mailed to:

Misawa Girl Scouts

Unit 5027 

APO, AP  96319

Questions can be sent to:
JPayne.GirlScouts@gmail.com
Click here for the COMPLETE details!  :)

---
If this idea doesn't appeal to you, consider holding an auction or fund raiser and donating the money.  I know it's not the same as giving a coat or blanket directly to someone in need, but it amounts to the same thing!

I know its not much, you want to pour your heart out. But it's something, and getting kids involved, giving them opportunities to act in a selfless manner, with love and concern for strangers is big. Just thought I'd share.

Crichton's Infamous Comic

I locked myself in my room, no wifi, to finish my assignments for my degree. Crichton knocks on the door.

"I sent you and email."

I get up and open the door,"What?"

"I sent you an email of that comic."

"Why? Ohh, you want me to post it?"

He smiles shyly and nods.

"Okay, thanks." 

We both smile conspiratorially (cuz I told him my professed "hate" was a joke, just exaggerating. It's totally against the rules of motherhood to really hate anything your baby creates).

So, here ya go. (And his glasses of lemonade look way better than my forgeries.)

When I Was a Child

Last night I went to the movie Paul (mildly entertaining; you could rent it. ) at my very favorite movie theater in the entire world, the Alamo Draft House. While picking up our tickets, the girls in front of me got tickets to see...

wait....

mmm.......

PULP FICTION (QUOTE ALONG).

Aaaahhhhhh, you guys. You know me as this persona, ok, but there was a time when my roommate and I would walk from our dorm to the cafeteria yelling, "WHAT DOES MARSELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE?!"  And ending with a barrage of finger-gun shots. And there was profanity! So much profanity, sprinkled like manure over a spring time garden.

Walking back to my car after the movie last night, I started to quote that old Pulp Fiction scene ... I may have said the B-word (probably not tho), but I couldnt make myself say the silly eff word. Not even for comedic nostalgia.

Wistful sigh for the girl I once was.


Next month is The Princess Bride (Quote Along). Maybe that one is more my speed.

THE Best Meal Planning Method for Lazy, Indecisive People.

Trying to decide what to make for dinner used to be the most difficult and stress-inducing decision I made every day. So hard for me it was, I started a blog to trick people into helping me. That worked for a while, then, as usual, I got lazy.

Then, I printed an excel spreadsheet with everything I knew how to make, organized by meal, and had it posted to the fridge. That helped sometimes, but I was still left with too many choices and never enough supplies.

Unfortunately, I don't like planning meals around a meat product. But that's how gramma planned meals, that's how America plans meals ... and it's worked pretty well so far. 'Cept for me. I'm can't decide which animal to desecrate - fish (rarely), chicken, beef, pork. Over and over? Violence, murder, bletch. Besides, y'know what? We are supposed to eat mostly grains ANYWAY!

SEE?

So finally, after 30something years of life, almost 13 years of marriage, 9 years of motherhood, I have developed THE Best Meal Planning Method for lazy, indecisive people.

And OF COURSE I want to share it with you.

Now I have only had it for 2 weeks, but it has been a miracle.

It goes along with the Taco Tuesday principle. But I am one of those people who really, really likes dietary variety (I don't know what I want, but I know I don't want what I had yesterday!), so Spaghetti Monday, Taco Tuesday, etc, wasn't gonna cut it. To make it more open, yet not overwhelmingly so, we assigned each night a theme.

Thus we see:

Monday - Mexican
Tuesday - Sandwiches
Wednesday - Eat Out
Thursday - Asian
Friday - Seafood
Saturday - Italian
Sunday - Meat and Potatoes

I like alliteration, but ran out of ideas fast. Cuz I was hungry. Rather than designing each meal around a meat, the meals are mostly associated with a carbohydrate (Carbs are not bad! You need them to function on a molecular level, dude. Cutting carbs is a great way to lose weight fast, but you will be grumpy cuz you're starving your brains! YOU BECOME YOUR OWN ZOMBIE!).

Anyway. 

Monday = tortilla or tortilla chips
Tuesday = Bread
Wednesday = whatever
Thursday = Rice
Friday = whatever
Saturday = pasta
Sunday = potatoes

My husband is always home on the weekends, so his favorite types of meals, the kind he is most likely going to be willing to help with and enjoy, are on those days. I'm lazy, so by Wednesday, I'm tired of cooking by myself again and POOF, I don't HAVE to; I can  if I wanna, but I don't have to feel guilty if we order a pizza instead.

Furthermore, there are awfully simple meals I can make within each theme for when I'm extra lazy or time crunched and there are fancier things I can make if I feel supercharged and cookalicious.

Monday
Lazy: Nachos (melted cheese on chips, dipped in a warmed can of refried beans ans salsa)
Supercharched: Enchiladas with homemade tortillas.

Tuesday
Lazy: PB&J
Supercharged: Parmesan Chicken Sandwiches with marinara on homemade chibbata bread.

Wednesday
Lazy: Wendy's
Supercharged: Cook Anything OR go to an actual sit down restaurant.

Thursday
Lazy: Stir fry (cook chicken, rice, micro-steam veggies - don't combine, cuz kids are wackos).
Supercharged: California rolls and some fancy marinated meat and rice combo.

Friday
Lazy: Saute frozen-already-cooked shrimp, find some leftovers or random things to go with.
Supercharged: Catch some trout, gut 'em, grill 'em, maybe with a baked potato (that I grew myself), and asparagus. Mmmm

Saturday
Lazy: Spaghetti and sauce (boil water, cook noodles, drain, add can of sauce).
Supercharged: Lasagna

Sunday:
Lazy: Crock pot a roast, with everything in it.
Supercharged: Crock pot a roast, with everything in it.

THEN, and this is key, Greg WROTE the themes ON THE FAMILY CALENDAR! So, at 6, when i get home and have to make dinner, I walk to the calendar. Oh - It's Fish Friday.

Watch How My Pearls of Humor Were Cast Aside

I want to announce that Crichton just got awarded the coveted "Later Bedtime Award."

YAY CRICHTON! Your parents think you are a competent, intelligent, responsible human being.

Yay your parents for raising such a competent, intelligent, responsible human being.

Last night, he was working on this comic strip on the computer about a mouse who wants to buy a car for $100 and has to earn the money. I was about to put Crazy Sagan down, and I say, "You know what would be really funny? If the mouse disguises himself as a surgeon and operates on humans to get the money! That would be halarious!!"

He gives me this look like "my mom is a comedic genius," I nod, wink, do that finger-gun-tongue-click, and go put my big insane baby to bed.

*****

When I get back, I of course want to see how he implemented my brilliant suggestion.

He decided to go another way.

The mouse makes the money with a lemonade stand.

A lemonade stand? Really? No one wants to buy lemonade from a frikken rodent. Gross.

Plus, lemonade is cheap, you can't make $100 bucks off a tiny little lemonade stand, run by VERMIN!!!!

I exclaim as much to him.

He points to a sign on the mouse's lemonade stand:

(Looks like a glass of mouse piss urine, if you ask me.)

Right. Now it makes sense. The mouse just has to sell two glasses of lemonade and he can buy the car.

Pshaw. Whatever.

Dr. McMouse is way funnier.

Or ... Zombie Monkey Doctor Ninja.

Oooohh, there already is a Dr. McNinja, is there internet?? Well, he'd be funnier if he were a zombie monkey doctor ninja!

**exits in a huff**

(psst, Crichton, you should post your comic on your blog. I was gonna post it here, but I couldn't hack your account. Good for nothing Administrator status.)

That's Crazy Talk

 I always feel a little queasy when people talk bad about their in-laws. Some in-laws are kind of monsters, but I, in so many ways, just got lucky (if mine are monsters, they are more like Sesame Street Monsters - nice, helpful, smart, addicted to junk food). 

I was reading a great article about the evolution of parenting and I finally finished my paper on parenting and something my father-in-law says all the time clicked in my brain this morning.

Whenever I express concern for the long-term possible effects of some mistake I've (or whomever I'm gossiping about) made as a parent, he says, "Oo-Ah think those kids will be just fine." 

And he is probably right. A newborn knows what it needs and how to get it, even in the middle of the night. A one year old tries to help all the time, they watch and smile. A feisty two or three year old knows they need to learn how to do EVERYTHING theirself. I do it myself! Me do it! Four and five year olds know they have to be fast and learn everything. Most of the time, parents are obstacles to the child being WHO HE REALLY IS. Because a person will become who they are supposed to become one way or another. Right? Aren't you who you are supposed to be? No? But you KNOW who you are sposta be, doncha? (Probably you should get on that.)


Husband and I are not the best at the religious instruction part of rearing our children. But we have family pray together every night. I wish prayer time was everyone quietly kneeling and reflecting on our glorious Father in Heaven. Haha. Prayer time in me yelling "FOLD YOUR FRIKKEN ARMS!!" as one of my children says, "dearheavenlyfatherthankyouforthisdaythatnkyouforourwholefamilyhelpusgetagoodnightsleepinthenameofjesuschristAMEN!"

(shaking head in shame)

I'm TRYING to teach my children how to communicate with Divine Perfection so they may have access to Pure Truth. I don't know if I'm teaching them anything really. But maybe the habit will help them someday when they need help. For me, it is a daily reminder that I need to  communicate with my Father in Heaven in a respectful and sincere way. And I really, really do. (Often, God (or the ghost of my grandmother) says to me, "T'ain't funny McGee,").

We think we are teaching our children, and to some degree we are, for better or for worse, but we are really teaching ourselves. The kids will be fine. I can lose my temper and swear and even whack them now and then out of pure frustration or irritation. I can feed them corn dogs for lunch and uncooked ramen noodles for dinner. I can brush their hair as they scream and cry. I'm not saying there are no long term negative effects, but, overall, the kids will be fine. Most people, whatever there childhood, are fine. Could be better, but not so bad.

We are all a little crazy.

So crazy is normal.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry. I'm always wrong and I mess everything up.

It's all my fault that the kids won't sleep at night. Has nothing to do with laxity of our Spring Break schedule. Day Light Savings? No way. Y'all sleeping in? Heavens no. It's my snuggling too much at night. I should be more like you: efficient. Stories, prayers, smooches, outta there. Twenty minutes tops then on to more important stuff. Right?

I think I wanna quit my job. If we start getting rent checks, that should be fine. I make nothing anyway. Like $600/month. 

Feel pathetic and useless.

Hopeless and helpless.

And I'm writing this damn stupid paper on how attitude is all we can control and how parents will enjoy parenting if they simply choose to enjoy parenting. 

Stupid hypocrite.

And I know I should just accept your apology and cozy on up to you and let things slide ... but I'm tired too, stressed out. The culmination of 15 years of half-(drat,Crichton reads my blog more than anyone in the world .. what's another expression for "not giving it your best effort that doesn't include profanity??)donkeyed effort, probably the first truly significant life goal is 9 days and 5 assignments away. And I feel overwhelmed. 

HEY - I just got some really brilliant advice about what to do when feeling overwhelmed ... 

I prayed.  I didn't get a big shining answer, just a simple 'do it'.  So I started.

 I'm gonna work on my paper now. 

I'm sorry we fought last night. You say "no more babies" ... I love you and I'm sorry it's hard to put the kids to bed, but I'm still probably gonna snuggle them too much and probably fall asleep next to them regularly. After I finish this stupid degree thing, though. And you'll probably have to wake me up if you want me to watch Office or Stargate with you. But, baby, I don't have a lot of happy childhood memories, ok? And maybe I'm trying to make up for that a little. When my grandmother was alive, I'd crawl in bed with her and she'd always snuggle me. After she died, when I was far too old for such things, I remember crying and begging for some comfort at night and being turned away, yelled at, crying myself to sleep, telling myself no one loved me.

Maybe I overcompensate. Maybe I had to go through that so I could be sensitive to these little spirits and give them more love when they need it so they can be super strong people because they never doubt that mom loves them no matter what. I can't imagine how nice it would be to have that knowledge, securely tucked safe inside, that someone out there loves you always, no matter what.

I wish I could talk to you like this when we are fighting ... or even the morning after. But the truth is, I can't talk like this at all. And I'm sorry I like to blog. I'm sorry. I do everything wrong for you.

On the bright side, after I hit publish, I think I have purged enough negativity that I can write my stupid papers.

I'm Totally Writing My Paper Now and NOT Blogging

 

I used to be a contender (in my own mind).

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I am getting a little more OCD about my stats again. Like checking them regularly and being sad. The good news is that that sad feeling makes me blog more :) Also, if my stats get better, I will blog more. So both negative and positive reinforcement will work for me here.

My emphasis is Psycholgy. That degree thing.

Last week was SXSW here in Austin, which is kinda a big thing. But I'm a Utah girl living in NORTH Austin, so really, I didn't know what I was missing and all I noticed was a little more traffic occasionally.

I wrote on my calendar where and when Lenka was playing. She was in town. She and I are facebook friends. And there were a few other bands I probably would have liked to see. And Rip Torn. I wish I were more plan-y. And do-y. But I am finishing a degree after all. SO.

BUT then there are several blogs I read would read if I wasn't SOOOO BUSY and they are all like "This week was SXSW and I saw this and that and went here and there and it was oodles of fun!" And I was all "WHAT? I didn't know they were blogging from like next door/visiting my current home town.

Blogs I read that evidently are written in close proximity/visiting:

The Frikken Bloggess (she commented here once a million years ago)

Buddha Ate My Churro

Eric Snider always visits.

Dooce was here, too.

And I never read this one, but she's here too. 

Maybe some more y'all. I feel like I should have invited people over for cake. I make the best chocolate cake in the known universe, y'know. 

And, wow, I could go for some, if I wasn't so busy with my paper.

But NEXT year ... all y'all can all come to SXSW and visit Mrs. B. Roth, BGS and I'll provide cake.

(The cake is NOT a lie.)

Lists

(still not a real blog post, got it, just a couple lists)

Things Done (10:24 am Monday, March 21, 2011 - 11 days to degree deadline)

• A bit of running (clears the mind, moves the bowels).
• SOLVED the chinese ring puzzle.
• 
• FAILED TO SOLVE my 10-years-old-never-worn-cuz-i-broke-it-the-moment-i-got-it puzzle ring.
• 
  
• 
• Made an audible sound of disappointment while stepping on bathroom scale.
• Swept the kitchen (kept stepping on chocolate chips and ramen noodles - Greg was in charge of the kids all weekend).
• Complained about my relationship with my mother via facebook.
• Threw dirty laundry downstairs in hopes that the laundry fairy will sort and wash it (laundry fairy better darn well sort and wash or laundry fairy better figure out some way to pay some rent cuz laundry fairy keeps eating like she's not diabetic and its getting pretty dang pricey to afford laundry fairy's living and medical expenses.)
• Complained about my mother again.
• Mentally cursed my husband's extended unreasonable laziness throughout entire past weekend as house was a disaster (who let them play PLAY DOUGH on the CARPET?) and garbage was stinking full.
• Thought about taking out garbage, but didn't.
•  Blogged - to warm up my writing neurons.

 Things yet to do before I go to work:

• Shower.
• Finish the 10 page research paper thing.
• Find two old papers that "exemplify my best writing" (or the first two I can find).
• OD on caffeine.

I Like Pink

(This is not a blog post, this is a writing warm up as I prepare to continue my BYU is awesome papers, ok? A writing warm up. Not a blog post.)

Happy Boofday to my favoritest cousin Katie Poo.

I went running today. Trying to get back into a regular running schedule has been easier since I quit (for reals this time) one of my jobs and *sniff* band (a post for a later date). I know of at least five beloved family members who died young from heart issues. Running is kind of this rebellious life affirming activity for me. As if I have any control over when or how.

But it makes me feel better than sitting around eating bacon wrapped steak and fried twinkies.

The first song my MP3 player chose for me was Pink, F**kin' Perfect.

This song resonates for me like the voice of God.



I listen to it with the profanity intact, because because because. Because. Because I believe that bad words are words spewed with an intent to hurt, regardless of what letter they start with.

The last song on my run was good too.



Running and music might be my favorite thing since ice cream and chocolate.

NOW. On to that degree.

NO BLOGGING TIL I FINISH MY DEGREE

And I mean it this time.

Got my coursework for my last class competed.

Need to take the final here in Austin with a certified proctor (a proctologist is NOT the same thing). After Spring Break.

Writing a bunch of papers that all basically say, "BYU is SO awesome, I learned SO much and it was SO worth it. My spirit overfloweth."

Tho, really, I learned professors are not really necessary for me to learn stuff. Also, Financial Aid is messy and expensive. Finally, I like school.

This blog will resume when it can be written by a degreed person or April 1st, whichever comes first.

I Hate Daylight Saving Time

...

Grrr.

...

Maybe next time.

Yes, Poo Poo Head, There Is A Poopy Poop head

Sagan has reached that lovely stage in her vocabulacular development where every sentence must include some reference to fecal matter.

"I love you, Poopyhead."

"Shut your mouth up, Poo poo head."

"I'm poopy."

"I farted. Heh heh."

"Mom, you farted! That was a loud one."

"Daddy pooped in his pants."

Get the idea?

Is it just a children of Brandy Roth thing? Your kids talk a lotta crap?

"This Will Probably Offend You But ...."

Gal I work with starts out a conversation thusly, then continues:

"When I first met you, I thought you were a Mormon or something. The way you talk and how you act; long skirts. You reminded me of, you know that show, Big Love?"

Really?

I frikken do, dammit. I totally wear skirts all the stupid time (cuter ones like 1 and 3, not hokey pokey ones like 2). Cuz I like skirts and my old job encouraged dressing up a bit. And I often do my hair in a way that, while i think it looks kinda renaissance, Greg calls it RLDSy.

"I am a Mormon, y'know," I say to her.

"Like with plural ... uh ... wives?"

"No, not that kind. Just the regular kind."


"Oh." She seems both relieved and disappointed, "I remember telling my husband about you when you started, how I didn't think we would get along very well. Now I'm always telling him the funny things you say and how we have a lot in common."

"Yeah, I'm not a very good Mormon," I smile.

Some disaster happens and we go back to work.

Grrr. My Mormonness is obvious??

Makes me wanna get a tattoo.

 

But maybe a little smaller. On my ankle. But definitely a 3-D spider.

I didn't think I was so ... weird. I need to watch and study Big Love so I can be less Big Lovey. Sigh. 

Girlie-ing Up the Girl

She don't have Barbies.
Or a tutu.
No princess movies.
Only two pairs of shoes.

But we painted her nails
To match her soul
Yeah, my baby is evil.
She's only two years old.

She's a Goooooooooooooth Queen.
A Gooooooooooth Queen.

(y'know, like that song Tangerine ... no? Youtube, kiddo.)



(what luck! ukulele is my favorite instrument :) )

I love my Sagan ... I hate that my baby has to grow up so fast. It's ok that she doesn't know the world owes her a prince in shining armor, right?

Gonna buy us some "Self Rescuing Princess" shirts (when I earn it) (she earned hers).

My Senator Listens and Responds

My Sweet Lady Senator, Kay Baily Hutchinson ('s staff member), responded to my Day Light Saving email. Tho, I'm pretty sure she's wrong about Indiana. There were a few counties who would bounce back and forth, observing eastern time, then central time, whichever kept them from clock adjustments, but I think Uncle Sam has squashed the zone hopping and made them pick on zone and observe DST (jerk).

Dear Friend:

     Thank you for contacting me regarding Daylight Savings Time.  I welcome your thoughts and comments on this issue.

     Daylight Savings Time was first put into effect in the United States in 1918, when it was adopted to conserve energy resources for the national effort in World War I.  Daylight Savings Time was again adopted during World War II and has endured for more than fifty years.  In 1986, Congress passed a law establishing the daylight savings period from the first Sunday in April to the last Sunday in October.  Arizona, Hawaii, and sections of Indiana do not recognize this initiative.

     Provisions were included in H.R. 6, the Energy Policy Act of 2005, which was signed into law by President Bush on August 8, 2005, to extend Daylight Savings Time by two months in an effort to alleviate domestic energy concerns.  I support energy conservation and believe that Daylight Savings Time is one route to achieving this important goal.  I also recognize the effects that extending Daylight Savings Time may have on Texans, particularly those with children.  As the new provision takes effect, I will continue to monitor the results to determine if it is having a positive impact.

     I appreciate hearing from you and hope you will not hesitate to keep in touch on any issue of concern to you.

Sincerely,

Kay Bailey Hutchison

United States Senator

284 Russell Senate Office Building

Washington, DC  20510

202-224-5922 (tel)

202-224-0776 (fax)

http://hutchison.senate.gov

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY to this message as this mailbox is only for the delivery of outbound messages, and is not monitored for replies.  Due to the volume of mail Senator Hutchison receives, she requests that all email messages be sent through the contact form found on her website at http://hutchison.senate.gov/contact.cfm .

If you would like more information about issues pending before the Senate, please visit the Senator's website at http://hutchison.senate.gov .  You will find articles, floor statements, and press releases, along with her weekly column and monthly television show on current events.  You can also sign up to receive Senator Hutchison's weekly e-newsletter.

Thank you.

Unfortunately, I'm kinda opposed to all her platforms, politically. But we both have ovaries (I assume), so Yee haw.




Anyway, I'm off to write some papers so I can get a nice piece of paper proving I can stick to it to the end.

And you know ... I think I need an anonymous blog for reals ... it is dang hard writing when your 8 year old is the censor police. (I Love you Crichton! My sweet little sugar pooper.)

A Quote For A Monday

Great minds discuss ideas. 

Average minds discuss events. 

Small minds discuss people.

Eleanor Roosevelt

What do you find yourself usually talking about? Hmmm? The uselessness bordering on perverse torture that IS Daylight Saving Time? That's what I'm talking about. 

I broke 100

 

Yeah, it's only one hundred and I only published 108 entries in 2010 and only 13 so far in the 65 days of 2011.

BUT it is my ONE HUNDRED people out of over 6,775,235,741.

If you haven't already, you should start managing your bloggy addictions on google reader. Then you can read me on your smart phone as soon as I publish. And tell your friends.

Maybe, in another 5 years and 1200 posts, I'll have 200 subscribers. :)

IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN

If you are like me, you have probably blocked it out of your conscious mind that

MARCH 13 IS DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME

AGAIN!!!!

Yes, brothers and sisters, we are STILL fighting this fight.

But now I fight from Texas ... a feisty, patriotic, big, well-populated state that sometimes produces Presidents.

I emailed half a dozen Texan Government Guys and a Lady Politician. And Ron Paul (cuz he's famous right? I don't know how to turn on my TV watch much TV).

And this is what I said:

I need YOUR help!

This time of year (and once again later in the year) government and big businesses have decided to make the citizens of this free country collectively change time.

Why do we do this, with all we know about circadian rhythms, sleep patterns, and especially with how much mothers and fathers struggle to get our kids sleeping on a schedule? Why, in the name of all that is NOBLE would we VOLUNTARILY muck around with that by LOSING an hour of sleep?

I don't want to wake my kids up for school early on March 14th, I want to let them get the sleep they need and wake naturally at their usual time.

Do YOU want to give up an hour of YOUR precious sleep? You know you never get enough anyway? Neither do I.

Why do we do it, year after year? Because a bunch of guys a HUNDRED YEARS AGO thought it would help us decrease incandescent bulb usage. I switched to florescent bulbs this year. (un)SCREW INCANDESCENT BULBS and do away with DST! The idea that DST saves energy was debunked in Indiana years ago.

Make this happen, [beloved congressman]. Do the will of the people! You can decide on this before Sunday, March 13^th. Cancel DST forever, and let us SLEEP! Think of the children! We only have 8 days to get this done. I am ready for change, ready to do away with the antiquated system and step proudly into the future. How, if you won't listen and act on a small but personally impacting issues, how can I expect you to listen to me when it's huge?

We can do it! I know we can.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!!!
TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!
NO MORE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!

Sincerely yours,

Brandy Roth
Austin, TX
www.mrsbroth.blogspot.com 

I highly recommend you find out who your reps are (so I am not alone when D.C. rounds up the "crazies".) and feel free to cut and paste my letter if you don't have time to compose your thoughts on the matter (I copied myself from 2 years ago anyway). Please? Please please please. It only took me 15 minutes. I don't wanna lose an hour of sleep! I love LOVE waking up early and being productive. You get 92% of your best work done before noon and that's a fact. We don't need to change the time to stay up late if we want to. We can just stay up. PLEASE. Begging you. There are only a few things I HATE - and DLS is the only one I can KILL without going to jail. So PLEASE! Help.

Missing Him

Husband has been away all week. This is the longest he has ever left me, in fact. Being the Left-behinder, I've had time to think at night (because I don't know how to turn on my own damn TV).

I have not yet decided, but I think maybe I miss the him of about 14 years ago more than I miss the him that isn't here right now.

That guy knew how to smooch on a girl until she believed in Santa. That guy would walk and talk about everything all night, just to be in my presence. That guy wanted to touch me, would persistently put his hand on my leg even after being repeatedly told, "Please don't touch me, it makes me nervous." I truly felt wanted back then.

The guy I'm missing now, he ... he is very sensible. And efficient. He is good and noble and righteous. He needs a lot of nagging (and he hates when I write about him ...) and I really hate nagging. Yes, I prefer everyone read my mind, and when they utterly fail to do so, even after 13 years of marriage, well, then I shout and stomp and say mean things. Then apologize. (But really, he should be telepathic by now, doncha think?!)

I wonder what he misses about the girl I was about 14 years ago. I'm sure he prefers that I don't cry every time we disagree about something, but I don't think he likes how I stop talking completely when I'm tired of arguing. I used to be more coy, shy, hesitant ... my thirties have been a bit liberating; I think he liked the chase. Was I always this bossy? This brassy? This brazen?

I feel a need ... something.

I wish he was here.

On Toenail Polish

I gave up painting my nails a few years back. I can't remember exactly why, probably some purist feminist PMS motivated stint. I threw out about a dozen bottles, my entire collection in one noble toss. Shiny Red, Defiant Blue, Random Clear ... toxic and fungificating (it is too a word, pfft. As if spell check knows everything).

I have one bottle now. Black with ruby red glitter. From Halloween, and for when my inner Goth-child breaks out.

The thing is, freshly painted, perfectly pedi'ed toenails look so good.

In order for me to feel ok about myself and my personal choice, I really have no other option but to brutally criticize those who have chosen to make their tootsies oh-so-very much cuter than mine.

Shiny red toenails look as tho the actual nail has been ripped off, leaving a wet, bloody mess on the end of your toes.

 

 

 

 

 

From http://phoebelouise3.blogspot.com/