Feelings of Abandonment

Got a new batch of babies at school.


Oh, how I love that first week.

They cry and cry and cry. I want my mommy, daddy, monkey ... sigh. I want to give you back to mommy, daddy, and monkey, kiddo.

I try to explain that these super irritating sobs are likely the very reason mom and dad dumped them off in the first place, but the babies are too consumed by grief to really hear me. They can barely breathe, y'know?

Children under two are not fans of  starting school, it seems. They have absolutely no idea what is going on except that everything they know and love has been taken away by the people they trusted most, who have disappeared and they may never get any of it back.

And, just so you know, the teachers, as smiley and sweet as they try to seem, it is really really really really really irritating. Exhausting.

"Normalization" (when your kid finally accepts school as the new routine) takes 6-8 weeks. The first two weeks are the hardest. It is so hard to teach everything from square one. Rolling a rug. Putting things away when finished. Hands to yourself. Sit when you eat. Sitting in circle. How to line up. How to walk in a line. How to not scratch people's eyes out. Take turns. Leave others' stuff alone. Soft voices. No biting. NO TEMPER TANTRUMS!! NO CRYING!!!!!!

It's really hard for everyone. There must be a better way.

All I know: Today, I am really tired of being screamed and yelled at and ignored.

Maybe I don't wanna be a teacher anymore. Maybe I would like to be the kind of teacher who has all summer off. Maybe I would like to talk about teaching theories with adults while staying far away from the trenches.

Also, if my darling daughter could stop with the "I'm a kitty" phase and poop in the potty ...

Whatever becomes of me, I am going to try harder to be patient with sad babies tomorrow. Promise.