Confession Friday - Now With 72% MORE Brandy*

*all percentages are completely random and in no way should be taken as representative of anything at all ever.

I really love to confess stuff.

You can tell, can't ya?

1. I have so many things, shocking, disturbing things, I should confess ... but I pretend to just have sorta shocking things to confess. You'd be shocked I bet tho.

2. I got a promotion at work while someone else got layed off ... it was to balance out the universe, FYI. HI! I'm the new official and paid toddler teacher. AND they will pay for my official Montessori training.

3. I'm making a bunch of playlists for school. I need variety. Not just fancy shmancy classical and silly kids' songs. The Beatles. Maybe some Simon and Garfunkel. Broadway. But not Maxwell's Silver Hammer ...

4. I am the least sympathetic wife a man ever had to live with. My tolerance tanked out after the 2nd moan of agony. Poor guy had to endure countless fake smiles and eye rolls before crawling upstairs and begging to be taken to the doctor. I spent the majority of my night last night in an expensive bright ER ... and I gagged when I had to dump his barf bucket this morning. Good news for him tho: I'm happy to participate in crazy monkey sex hugs any time, day or night. After your back gets better, of course. Is it better yet? How about now?

5. In my defense, he really likes to ask for a dozen things, one at a time, waiting until I sit down and start my own thing before demanding politely, sweetly requesting the next task. OMGG (oh my good gravy) that's annoying, right? Even if I stand a wait, asking, "Is there anything else I can do for you dear?" all clentched teeth like, he says nothing until I get tired of waiting (.003 seconds) and leave.

6. Everyone at my house is asleep now. Everyone. The place is mine and I am so tired but I love being alone ... I can't decide which one I want more, the sleep or the silence.

7. I don't know if I really wanna work 35 hours a week ... 20 was fine mostly .. I'm not gonna have a back up sub person ... I'm staff now. Sigh. I can do it! Please. I hope.

8. I like my body, for the first time in my life. I'm not the smallest I've ever been, but I really like the shape, size, feel, strength, endurance ... it's a good body. :) With room for improvement.

9. When does the rusty discharge from a new IUD end? There hasn't been a real period, but the discharge hasn't ended, and it's kind of annoying. There are things I'd like to be doing ...

10. I have a really amazing husband (I'd tell you exactly how amazing but he never lets me blog what I wanna blog) and I was really mean to him this week when he was hurt. Women are evil. I need to really work on my compassion. I'll make it up to him by doing laundry. Now. (He loves it when I do laundry. The Monkey Hugs, meh ... but LAUNDRY ... ohhhh baby!)

Best Award Ever (that i didn't have to steal)

The super easily intimidated Glamazon gave me an award and I lovelovelove it! I'm gonna now reveal the 5 celebs who make me wanna break a few (insignificant) commandments ... boomchickawowow.

1. Always in my heart, is Ewen Mcgreggor. Sigh. Swoon. He has the accent, he is HOT, he can SING! and dance. Take me now, baby!

In a kilt, in a tux ... "I am no longer constipated ...."

I'll pretty much watch ANYTHING with him in it and LOVE it to death.

I <3 you Ewen!




2. Joshua Jackson. Josh is just 6 days younger than me. Hot, right? I didn't watch Dawson's Creek, but now that I see him on Fringe, and technology being what it is, I think I just might. Oh, my dear, rugged, brilliant, witty man ... furrow your cute brow in my direction.




3. Shatner/Nemoy. I can't choose between these two hot men who are old enough to be my grandfathers. What would be ideal, I think, is a Brandy sandwich with both of them, extra mayo (weird huh).






4. Will Smith. He's got the goofy, funny, deep, smart, sensitive, awesome actor thing down ... did you see him in I, Robot? Ahh ... and I am Legend? Wild, Wild, West? MEN IN BLACK?! And Pursuit of Happyness and Seven Pounds ... I like him in everything ...








5. Christian Bale. You all like him from Batman and American Psycho and stuff. I've loved him since NEWSIES!!! He sings too. :) Santa Fe ... and to be honest, I haven't seen American Psycho .. but I just read a review that proclaimed his nudity in it ... and not that I'd ever promote nudity (CANON! GO GET DRESSED, I MEAN IT!!), but if God was anti ... you'd think we'd come out with some fig leaves on or something ...






OK!

That was a lotta lustful thoughts.

I'm supposed to pass this on, but we ALL know I'm too lazy for that... so if you wanna, steal this award for yourself and lust away. I wanna know who you want tho, so leave a link in the comments to tell me you awarded yourself for me.

Ready ... Set ... Go (to bed)

Pink sports bra? Check.

Smoking hot running pants? Check.

Groovy turquoise running top? Check.

Nike socks with pink swish? Check, Check.

Amazing, beloved, lucky running shoes? Check, Check.

Over the ear head phone things? Check.

Around the arm iPhone holder on thing? Check.

Kick A$$ play list? You tell me:













I'm gonna run my hardest. Run the whole time ... run like running will make the crazy stop.

I really need to run.

I'll Tell You My Phone Number in 5 Seconds ... 5 .... 4... 3... 2...

Sunday morning. Crichton, now 8 years old, woke up around 7 am.

He filmed and edited a multi-cut movie demonstrating how to make a certain ship design out of Legos.

He compiled the movie in silly movie making program, including a title and credit sequence.

He uploaded his movie to YouTube, after creating a private YouTube account.

All while his parents slept, completely unaware.

I remember him asking if I wanted to see this movie before church, but I was too hungover from the Ward Prom the night before, and already late for Sacrament Meeting at that point.

After church ... after 3 hours of church, and lunch, he finally convinced me to watch his movie. He then mentioned that I could just watch it on YouTube.

It was the YouTube that caught my attention.

He gave me the password to his new YouTube account.

The movie was actually great, all things considered. All things including, as the grand finale, a request for viewers to provide feedback. With my phone number. My CELL phone number.

Needless to say ... the movie is not available for public viewage anymore.

Parents: supervise your kids computer time.

Kids: Sleep in on effing Sunday, okay? IT'S SUNDAY!

If Cri decides to go back and make a "mommy approved" version of his movie, I'll be happy to post it. Do you ever take a moment in your kids life and wonder if it is foreshadowing??

Mothers. A Week Late (I was "busy")

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today and it made me think about my mom.

My mom is alive and well, lives in my basement even. I know numerous people who would be beyond grateful to be able to say that.

I can't imagine a time when that statement will make happy or grateful or anything positive.

I've been trying to recall my best memory of my mother. It is a very, very hard mental exercise for me. I spent most of my childhood pretty much on my own. There wasn't a lot of supervision or guidance or attention. I can tell you bad memories ... there are lots of those and maybe I dwell on them too much. I do dwell on them too much. But here is one moment when I felt happy with my mother.

I was about seven or eight. She had been up late reading the book version of the movie Willow, which my family had seen previews for and were excited to see. My dad worked graveyard and wasn't home. My parents slept in separate twin beds in the unfinished attic (weird, huh) and usually us kids would get yelled at to go back to bed if we tried to sleep upstairs, even in dad's empty bed. That was really hard because mom had shared a queen size bed with me and my brother every night for about 5 years prior (not sure exactly why it was that way or why it suddenly changed).

I had a hard time sleeping, all my childhood and adolescence. Terrible insomnia. I would say someone should have medicated me, but I'm fine now. So, as usual, I couldn't sleep and I decided to take a gamble and see if maybe, just maybe, mom would comfort me rather than send me away to cry myself to sleep*.

For whatever reason, that night, she let me crawl in bed with her. I did the thing kids who need more attention do: I started talking to her. I asked her a million questions. About her life and childhood. About meeting my father. About my childhood. Finally, about the book she was reading. She talked about the plot and characters until I fell asleep.

That is one of the few good memories I have of my mom.

I was reading another one of my favorite blogs this past week. It was the Mother's Day edition. One post card really effected me.

When Greg is getting frustrated with me, sometimes he'll say I'm acting like my mother. Nothing NOTHING insults me more.

I don't want my children to feel that way about me. It is one of my greatest fears. I want my children, most especially my beautiful amazing daughter, to feel this way instead:

(picture from postsecret)

_____
*It is awfully annoying when kids get up at night. But I'm gonna hug them and sweetly put them back to bed from now on. No more threats and spanks for getting up ever. Even after the 200th time. I know: I'm totally jinxing myself for bedtime tonight. I don't care. They say a child replays the last thing they hear/experience over and over as they fall asleep.

What do we want that child to be replaying??

What will be most helpful for them to get comfy and sleep? "Dammit! If you get up one more time, so help me, I am going to beat the living crap out of you! Do you Understand?STAY!" or "I love you sweetheart. Goodnight. Happy Dreams!"

I Should Write the Story of My Life So I Can Skip to the End and See How it Turns Out

I'm still floundering.

You may have noticed the no happy blog posts. Then lack of religious rants. The dearth of political commentary.

All stupid whining; all the time.

I dyed my hair. It was gonna be this color - Spicy Ginger. Hot right? Effing yeah!


It turned out this color. Copper Carrot. Ah. If we can't laugh at ourselves .... at least we can give the world something to laugh at us about.



Little tip ... if you can't get the mixture to REALLY mix in the bottle ... consider dumping it into a bowl and doing it salon style. Live and frikken learn.

And, hey Miss Clairol ... if you wanna send me like a free gift certificate to get this taken care of ... and a full body massage and a vacation to Hawaii, that would be awfully nice. And easy.

Tonight IS prom. The young women are doing an adults' prom fundraiser. I have been SO looking forward to it ... yeah. I'll be sure to get pictures tonight. Hoping to go all the way with my date.

All.

The.

Way.

I think I'll go take a Nap now

I'm really tired.

Things are hard.

You wouldn't know, but they are.

So.

Yeah ... maybe throw some laundry in first. Laundry is important.

If I could listen to her and get my life together, maybe I'd just be content.

Maybe if ... yeah. Nevermind.

Just thought I'd post an update.

(When brandy is tired of posting .....)