You wanna know what it's like for ME to get an IUD shoved up my hoohah??
GAH!!
I'm serious.
Not only do you have to go in whilst ON your period, when your guts are as tender as your emotions, BUT it hurts WORSE THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE.
i clutched the sides of the table, splayed out in misery and humiliation, tears leaking from my eyes, alone, but for professional strangers. it felt like fiery daggers and ripping flesh in my sensitive girl parts. no one has ever hurt me there ... this was the worst, most traumatic experience of my life. i may have been a little grumpy for the rest of the day. also, failed to take drugs before hand. when i have it removed, i'm bringing heroine.
OK?!
Things that didn't hurt as bad as having my IUD placed:
- Giving birth to three children (one at a time, of course) (oh, and via C-section while completely numb) (hmm, that's not a terribly impressive example).
- Having the BIG, FAT shot in the back before they sliced my guts open for said C-sections.
- Severely spraining my ankle by stepping into an evil Arizonian abyss while holding my young child (the child totally survived, too).
- Running a 5K (cake, pain wise, by comparison).
- Bonking my head on that cupboard above the toilet when I turn on the shower (this happens rather regularly).
- Any pap shmear or ovary checking thing.
- Falling on my face while 8 months pregnant while wearing flip flops in the rain.
- P90X
- The 12 tries it took the vampires to get an IV in my arm last time I had a baby.
- Breast feeding with a clogged milk duct.
- Pregnant with 1st kid, 1 week past due date: my water broke at midnight and at 7am they started me on pitocin, which hurt SO bad, I vomited.
- My birth control pills give me weekly migraines that hurt so bad all I could do was huddle in a ball in a dark room and cry.
That effing hurt. For like 10 full minutes (there was a "blockage").
THEN!!!!
They coat you with this goop at some point in the procedure. It seemed to have the consistency of thick paper pulp. "You will probably pass it." What the ... why? They don't tell you. Why would they tell you? That would take all the fun out of violating and mutilating your womanity.
I'm not one of those girls who are afraid to see and touch their own bodies, ok ... and let me tell you ... the day after ... my girl parts looked like a battlefield. And tell me: what's the good of having an IUD if you can't put it to use?! I had to essentially muck the stall for a couple of days. (My husband ADORES it when I talk about things of this nature ... )
ANYWAY.Six days later...
I'm fine. Thank you for asking. Things are working perfectly and all is well.
(SOOOO not looking forward to having it removed ... it was WAY easier to HAVE a baby than get an IUD placed.)
The End
(or is it?)
(Brandy, you're a dork!)
(or is it?)
(Brandy, you're a dork!)
10 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
It does get better. I remember being very tender but it is worth the pain. Really. After 2 years, I rarely have a period and that is a good thing!
Yup, it's pretty bad, but that's the end of it. You should come to enjoy it in the next couple months when you stop getting a period and you don't have to take a pill. It's worth it!
I made Curtis come with me and hold my hand when I got mine. He was really pretty disturbed by seeing me in pain, but hopefully that will provide good motivation for him to get snipped when the life of this IUD is up.
It is so worth it and the removal wasn't that bad, I even got it replaced the same visit.
When I got mine out it didnt hurt AT ALL. BUT OIY I hated it . I Have endometreosis. and it did not NOT like the IUD.
I'm so sorry that it hurt as bad as it did for you. I'm even more sorry that it lasted a few days.
I'm glad you are feeling better. And I hope your bleeding ends soon. Mine is still bleeding and it's been 4 weeks. GRRRRRR!
Wow that picture is extremely disturbing. I am actually relieved to read this because when I had mine put in I was like "ah it hurts more than anything!" and they told me "oh wait until you have a baby!" and so I was really dreading that.
Actually it doesn't hurt much at all to get it out. So don't worry so much about that.
I hope it works out well for you! Did you get the Mirena or the Copper? I had the Copper and I liked it for about 6 months and then my cramps just got to be too much. I think the Mirena is better for that.
You had me with the clogged ducts! :( Nursing with clogged ducts and mastitis has been my biggest ouchie ever, so I can only imagine. The things you do for sex, girl ;)
I'm dyin over here! Omigosh I needed a life! I'm sorry to say mine wasn't that bad, it hurt but not that bad. Dyin!
I'm sorry! On mine they just went woop! and in it went, and they checked the placement via ultrasound, said "that's lovely!" and it was done! I don't really remember it hurting that bad...maybe it's like having kids? You don't remmeber the pain so much after a while? But I guess if you barfed on pitocin you'd remember that. I slept for 8 hours on mine because I made them start it small.
I almost passed out when I had mine. Luckily my mom was there to remind me to BREATHE! On the up side, having it removing isn't painful AT ALL. It's just YIONK and it's out. Warning - they told me it can take "up to a year" for my fertility to return but left out that it can also take less than a month. And then we were 5.
Came over from SSB, by the way, in case you're wondering who in the heck I am.
Post a Comment