Evil Twin - Crichton makes another movie

Isn't he clever, my boy. And even whilst sick. His voice is bad, but he's breathing and the pneumonia has not diminished his creativity.

Leave nice comments, he likes that.

Sexual Morality and Christian Marriage - Mere Christianity, Book 3, Chapters 5-6

Perhaps I was a bit silly, even glib, yesterday.

I publish my blog to my facebook page (shameless self promotion, torture to my friends and family). I received a facebook comment on the post from a guy I went to high school with, of whom I have always had a high opinion. He eloquently said, "Uh ... Wow."

"Uh ... Wow," can be taken a few ways; he meant it in the bad way. He later clarified, "Well, I think all I can do is point you to C.S. Lewis' fantastic book 'Mere Christianity', book (or part) 2 [sic] chapters 5 & 6 entitled "Sexual Morality" and "Christian Marriage". He makes my argument better than I can--if you care to."

I never take a challenge lightly; especially one against my Christianity and morality.

Fortunately (???!!!), I was able to download and read the assignment as I waited in the Kid Care Clinic with my Crichton.

(Crichton, we now know, has the flu and pneumonia. I've been up all night watching him breathe; takes me back to those new-mother nights. Except, now, I'm not breastfeeding, so Dr. Pepper and I can have at it, guilt free)

(hey, did you like that appeal to your sympathy, to get you on my side: poor woman, good mother, up all night, sick child - such a cheap ploy, don't let it deceive you).

C.S. Lewis - in LDS culture, his words are held as nearly sacred. However, I'm not sure he can be taken as an authority on marriage for a number of reasons. It has been speculated that Lewis had some sort of on going relationship with the mother of a war buddy (they had promised that if either died in battle, the other would care for the dead man's family). Lewis, himself, was not married until he was 58. The woman was divorced and Lewis opted to marry her civilly, however, once it was determined she had cancer, they had a Christian marriage performed. This marriage only lasted 4 years. As in many things, one can theorize, but practical application, i.e. life, is not always so neat and tidy.

He admits that one might argue that his lack of marital experience makes him incompetent to discuss the topic, but he advises readers to be sure we are analyzing the situation from a basis of reality and not trying to impose the silly ideas from novels and movies (i.e. happily ever after).

Who can know the secrets that have gone on, even in very long and seemingly successful marriages? As I look at the marriages around me, my peers', my family's, my own, I can see the benefits of marriage, clearly, for both husband and wife. But I see (and feel) how much hard work really has to be put into maintaining a good and healthy marriage. I see how quickly they can crumble apart. I know how painful it is when, as a spouse, you feel like you are putting everything you have into the marriage, feel like you are making so many sacrifices, and you still struggle with unhappiness.

There are many, many things I could take contention with in these two chapters (like how the man should be the head of the household because women are too emotionally involved in protecting the family and the man is better eqipped to protect other people from his wife's intense familial patriotism - tho, to be fair, he's probably right). However, overall, I do agree with Lewis.

The feeling of being "in love" makes us want to commit to a lifetime (or eternity) of devotion and concern for the object of our desire. Those feelings spur us on to make sacred promises and commitments before God and all mankind, to put the other's happiness and well being above all else, even our own. Feelings come and go. However, our morality comes into play when we hold strong to those promises, despite how our feelings may change over time.

This concept I adore and have no argument against.

I just wonder, if, when we are perfect beings, or as we become perfected - I wonder if the commitments will always be limited to one on one, husband and wife. Or if maybe the love we feel towards our spouses, the commitment and devotion to their well being, we will be able to extend to all mankind ... and then, because I am a little hormonal, I wonder how that might pertain to sex, etc.

We have a limited understanding of Love and Love One Another, I think. I'm not trying to be dirty minded or flippant (tho I'm sure I fail) - but I enjoy contemplating ideas and it is not a terrible thing to do. It annoys me when people try to corral you into "right" thinking by shoving guilt and morality at you, as if to say, "I am Right and anything not what I think is dangerously wrong." Pshaw. Perhaps most of us are only capable of deeply loving one person at a time. And thus the commandments are given according to our ability and capacity. Of course, then you have children and that opens up your hearts in ways you never thought possible.

Yes, married folk must be very careful not to open our hearts up to exciting "in love" (eros) feelings, it is true. However, Lewis also says, "[w]hen we meet someone beautiful and clever and sympathetic, of course we ought, in one sense, to admire these good qualities. But is it not largely in our own choice whether this love shall, or shall not, turn into what we call 'being in love?"

I say, probably.

So, make the conscious decision not to allow yourself to entertain your married self with exciting "in love" feelings. Yes, and avoid inciting lust, also. Except in and for your spouse.

I vote for Agape, which means love in modern-day Greek. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

I love your soul and I don't care who knows!

Is that better? Are we clear?

And Now Let's Be Crazy

Ever think about polygamy?

Ever ponder the implications of infinitely expanding the commandment: Love thy neighbor?

I was watching Dexter last night and they have this subplot where the title character's sister is in love with two men: a nice guy her age (late 20's I guess, 30 maybe) and nice guy in his 60's. (also the show has John Lithgow's bum which makes me giggle for completely inappropriate reasons). She chooses to go with the older lover, which is probably irrelevant, given the end of the episode, BUT, it made me wonder ....

Why do we have to choose? People get stuck in these various wacky polygonic love relationships and we always feel pressure to pick just ONE. It's not like we really choose who to love, do we? It just sprouts out there, uncontrollably, if you don't keep yourself in check. It doesn't just go away because you divorce or break up or marry someone else. Monogamy is the typical tradition ... but how effective is it, really? (I should post on the purpose and effectiveness of monogamy, but I'm hungry)

Here's my Mormon/Heinleinian based theory for today:

Historically, there has been a need for polygamous relationships, usually when the man/woman ratio was severely imbalanced and/or to speedily increase population of God's Chosen (I say that tongue in cheek, as if we are not all His children??). I'd like to think it was sanctified, for the most part (Old Testament, Utah Mormons, pre-1890). I hope everyone had fun ... I am always SO skeptical of the multiple wives set up ... seems to backwards to me. What would guys do with several wives? Alas. I may be atypical.

In the Mormon tradition, if a man's wife dies, he can be sealed to another woman and this is sometimes called Spiritual Polygamy. But, to my understanding, it doesn't work both ways - a woman can only be sealed to one man (pshaw, as if). If things sound wrong and unfair, it is usually because we don't yet know everything, aren't worthy to receive further light and knowledge. I'm referring to when the church extended the priesthood to ALL worthy males in 1978; many felt it was so wrong that Black men couldn't hold the priesthood before that time, then it changed. When people are ready to accept changes, God reveals stuff. (Argue if you must, that's what Brandy says).

Now, it seems to me, that one of the goals of the church is to seal every spouse and every child together through temple ordinances. If you expand this universally, the ultimate result would be everyone on earth sealed to each other (I think).

What I'm getting at, is ..... hmmm had it all written out ... sounded kind of crazy blasphemic ....

Hmm ....

Probably best not to make heaven sound like a huge orgy, huh. Though you HAVE to admit, that sounds way better than cloud-floating and harp-playing.

Let's recap: In this post we have Brandy watching a wholly inappropriate TV show, justifying less than faithful relationship behaviors, supporting polygamy, if criticizing the fact SHE only gets ONE husband, qualifying what amounts to explicit racism in the early church, coming very close to describing how she thinks the afterlife may resemble something you'd see on Weird Asian News (which I would never read myself, merely, suggesting the strangest of things seem to happen "over there") (was that ethno-centric/racist?? Hmmm... you have seen that MCX, Don't Get Eliminated show tho, right?) (I'm just saying...).

Greg may have me take this sucker down ... enjoy it while it lasts, baby.

And This One

I also liked this post.

Maybe I should get through my google reader and then give you a bunch of links ... blah. It's my blog, I'll do things my way.

But If Not

I cleaned out my Google Reader - marked all as read yesterday. Now I just have the new ones popping in and I can comment! And be current.

I just read this post and loved it, wanted to share it. Hope you like it.

The Most Amazing Muffins In The Known Universe

I don't throw that term around lightly, but holy Hannah, I have come across the most amazing muffin recipe in the known universe.

TWO ingredients.

TWO.

• One box of spice cake mix.
• One small can of pumpkin.

I haven't actually TRIED this recipe myself, but we invited the funnest people in the state of Utah over for dinner and they brought these little suckers over with them. Mini muffins. MINI MUFFINS FROM HEAVEN!

Mix it up all mixy like - bake it at 350 for 18 or so ... you know, like everything.

Look - no eggs, not oil, no water, nothing but delight.

MOST AMAZING MUFFINS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE - I am so getting fat off them. MMmmmmmm.....

*****

Secondly - do people have people over for dinner much? Greg and I LOVE having people over. I adore putting out my stupid fancy plates and fixing up something above and beyond the usual chili mac and cheese. I'd like to do it twice a month. DO people visit each other? Or do we only do it now when we've got their name on a slip of paper from the Elder's Quorum or Relief Society?

*****

I like not being so shy, I have to say. If you're shy, I say, give it up.

*****

I started watching people, really looking. And being more aware of myself generally. People are very interesting. You already knew this ... but it amazes me. People pick their noses a lot. And guys scratch themselves like all the freaking time. Holy cow. I don't think any amount of my telling my boys to "stop touching your penis" is going to help. Jeez. At least be discrete.

*****

That pan was full of muffins last night after our guests left. I have almost eaten a whole cake's worth of mini muffins ... stupid diet and exercise ... arg ... and, since we're confessing ... I had a BLT for lunch with lots and lots of bacon. And I am going to have an over-sized mug of hot cocoa right now. OHHH, I bet those muffins will be great with hot cocoa!!!

Just Thought I'd Share

I'm on a Weezer kick right now.

Yes, Weezer has replaced All American Rejects in my fickle heart for now.

My current very favorite is "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To"



Other favorites include this:

The Sweater Song

Trouble Maker

And this one is also lovely:



That's all. I heart Weezer.

Pointing Fingers

One hundred and seventy-six years ago, Joseph Smith's cute wife, Emma, was irritated that she had to clean up her husband and his friend's nasty tobacco chew. Filthy dirty habit.

And thus, Joseph received what is today called Doctrine and Covenant Section 89 or "The Word of Wisdom".

It was my first grown up lesson last Sunday.

Let me summarize (because I know you are too lazy to read it):

Don't drink alcohol, coffee, tea, or smoke/chew tobacco. Eat meat very sparingly, but eat lots of fruits, veggies, and whole grains. That'll make you healthier, smarter, and you'll have more endurance. YAY!!!

Your run-of-the-mill Mormon is probably not very good at following this advice though. Sure, they probably don't smoke or own a coffeemaker, and they'll give you a confused look if you request a dry martini (what does that mean, anyway? a dry drink?? weird).

What's wrong with a cup of coffee or tea? Or a glass of wine? Or getting occasionally stoned (especially if you have cancer)? What about moderation in all things? Even opium has it's time and place, doesn't it, as a pain relief - to ease the agony of the dying?

Why the list of no-no's?

Let's assume it is to assuage physiological addictions that may occur. Let's say God doesn't want our bodies to become dependent on artificial stimulants or depressants. It's probably a very good idea, temporally, if nothing else, to not be addicted to Cherry Coke Zero (mmm, sweet mother of pearl). Gordon B. Hinkley specifically, publicly said Mormons don't drink caffeine. What did you fill your mug with today? (I like to do half diet and half cherry).

There is one thought path that says the Word of Wisdom is an obedience thing. God said do it, do it. Letter of the Law. Blessings are predicated on obedience to commandments.

We also have the Spirit of the Law - that would say, "I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me and I am very tired. I don't usually imbibe artificial stimulants, but if I don't tonight, I may die."

Then there is Justification of Doing Whatever the Hell You Please. That's me saying, "I am a busy mom, I need my fridge stocked." That's the return missionary guy smoking out back because he's feeling stressed. That's some Relief Society sister stopping at Starbucks everyday before work.

First, we make decisions and deal with the consequences. To me, drinking a Pepsi is no better or worse than a beer. It's a choice. (Beer tastes icky though, so I'd totally take a Pepsi.)

And I think the LDS church switched from sacrament wine to plain old water because the wine was expensive. But it's all symbolic anyway. No body wants to sip blood, gross. I'm going to see if the Bishop might consider Cherry Coke Zero as an option ...

Even so. And finally my point.

You have vast plethoras of wisdom, my fellow Earthlings. Make better dietary choices - the less addicted you are to stuff, the better you will feel. And be less judgey judgey.

Now, bring me a frikken soda.

(such a dork) (and you know - i spent 4 days percolating this one, gah)

Picture TIme

Here's a few pictures of Our Halloween Decoration:

Here's my cute daughter:






Here's our wacky, mostly potty trained Canon:




Our almost toothless Crichton:


And our amazing hard working Greggie Boo:



I like my iPhone ... it has a camera :)

Put Your Pants on First; Shoes Second.

Canon used to think he could put on shoes before pants. He tends to think that pants are optional most of the time anyway, but he knows that he has to wear pants AND shoes to play outside (I know, I am a really mean mommy, but it's not like he always obeys the rule - I've been the braless lady chasing her naked kid down the cul-de-sac more times that any of us care to discuss).

If you put your shoes on before you put your pants on, things are going to be hard; you will probably end up on the floor, sobbing at the unfairness of the universe. Sometimes you just need to trust mom; she knows what she's doing when she quickly takes off the shoes you worked so hard to put on, helps you slide on those pants, replaces the shoes (even putting them on the right feet this time). A tiny bit of patience and trust and off you can go, happy.

*****

Whenever I have a hard time understanding God, I try to think of him as a perfect parent who loves us all very much. I look for parables or metaphors or examples to simplify the complexities of life. We are like little children. I don't think God minds me shaking my tiny fist at him now and then. And when I can get past the emotional overload (and you have to understand, that a lot of this blog is emotional venting, once it's out of me, I feel better, it's not the setting in stone of how I see the world, I like commas.) - if I can get to a rational place, I can listen and think and be still and know.

*****

Everything works out the way it's supposed to. It's a plan, not a series of random coincidences. Never take a chance encounter as mere chance. It worked out that I was able to spend Monday night with Janet (my cousin's widow). I went over to help with a trivial project, one of a million funeral details. But I just couldn't leave her. I wanted to hug her and help her. I asked her if maybe she would let Greg give her a priesthood blessing (for comfort and counsel). I never like to push my faith on people, but I know these blessings have helped me, and it (almost) never hurts to ask - to my surprise, she agreed.

I guess I wasn't meant to listen in; Sagan wouldn't be quiet, so I left the room.

She and I shared our faiths and doubts and hopes ... it was very cathertic for me. I don't see how I could have been much help to her, but she was amazing and I will never be able to repay her for that opportunity. She really helped me see a kind and loving Father in Heaven working through this unspeakably unfortunate event. A miracle.

Read Janet's blog - you know she has a lot of pain ahead of her, but seriously, she is just shockingly positive about it. I think about how I would certainly fall apart and turn my back on God and his "blessings". She hasn't done that. Monday night, she went over dozens of little miracles, "opportunities" a woman might choose to resent at the time, but she didn't. Like having a husband with less work. Those last few months, he was home more, able to spend time with the children, able to make some memories.

Ladies ... statistically - it is very likely that you will one day have to bury your husband. Or cremate him. (Greg and I mutually agreed that we could cremate whomever died first. No big deal, why take up space - who wants to haunt a fancy new housing development in 50 years anyway?!) Our loved ones are going to die. We are going to die. Tragic reminders like this serve the amazing purpose of making us realize how much we have been blessed with, how much we take for granted. But by the grace of God ... you can't ignore that the good times are temporary, that there is a price to pay for the joy of loving people. Maybe we should try to prepare our hearts a little more ... not be so blind and ignorant and afraid of death.

I want to believe that death and sin are not the devastating tragedies they seem to be. We do have a Savior who suffered for our sins that we could be forgiven of them. I'm a little shaky about the resurrection bits, but it's promised to everyone, y'know. They say we get the bodies back, good as new. So that's going to be cool, right? No more saggy empty milk sacks; I'd be fine keeping my C-section scars ... war wounds. And y'know, I'm ok with my boobs, too.

What were we talking about?

Let's catch up on sleep, all of us, now. And love like it's the last time.

10 Things I Like Right Now

Been crying a lot ... stupid emotional thing that I am. Fist shaking angry at God - I wish he'd run things by me first, take my advice once in a while. He and I just don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.

So, to cheer us up, a list of things I'm not mad at. Ten things at which I am not mad, if you prefer.



1. My refurb iPhone. I don't know how much you paid, but I got my shiny new super gadget for $50 and I am madly MADLY in love with it. It didn't want to load my apps at first, but, sweet thing that I am, I convinced it to do my bidding. We're going to live happily ever after. (Anyone want to buy an effed-up useless iPod, hardly used iHome, and one of those iPod to car radio thingies???)

2. My messy house. Yep, it's a mess right now, Greg and I have been fiddling with the phones and the kids have been making like ferel ..uh ... kids. Sagan reorganized most of the kitchen drawers; Canon has strategically placed pillows in perfect jump off everything positions; Crichton has bits of costumes and evil inventions strewn about. Without the monkeys my house would be clean, but my life would be empty.

3. Coca-Cola cherry zero. So what if it's my latest addiction ... this time, this one really IS the BEST diet drink ever.

4. Sagan's new shoes. We went to Savers (the thrift store) and she grabbed these gold sparklie shoes and screamed when I tried to take them away. Then she insisted I put them on, wonder of wonder, they fit. She screamed when we tried to take them back off. I'm a barefoot girl, but Sagers LOVES her shoes and even makes me put them on over her footie jammies. Silly little girl.

5. My new shoes. At Savers I also found probably the ugliest pair of Sketchers in the universe, but they were my size, almost new, and $6 ... much like the above picture but with lots of sparklie shasta colored things and embroideries stuff. Sagan approved. My other shoes have holes ... I got new shoes, la la la la la.

6. HOT CHOCOLATE! It's chilly and I can drink lots and lots of hot cocoa. MMmmmm.

7.

Sorry - I ran out of things I like .... 6 is good though, right?? I have to clean the house now .. Greg'll be back any second and if the house is clean, he;s giving me candy (and also possibly ... um .. "candy"). I am easily motivated.

my god

I learned this morning that a dear cousin of mine had a severe heart attack and passed away last night, leaving behind his widow and 3 young boys. If you can, think of them in their time of pain and loss. Pray. Pray better prayers than mine tho.

*****

how can you do this? how is ok? why? it's just mean, cruel, senseless, unfair.

why does life have to be so painful?

i'm crying my guts out, my head hurts, i sob if i sit and think about it for a moment. i can't bear the thought of it and i feel guilty for my agony because it's not even my life you've ... just ... shredded.

the sky is so blue today. my kids are so beautiful and happy. i am in the depths. I've never liked october much.

how can i worship at your feet? how can i sing your praises and adore? i know life goes on, i know things will work out, but why do you have to make it so hard for us? why can't things just be nice? simple.

she doesn't deserve this, y'know. she is a really really good person. this is really not okay with me. this breaks my heart. it's not some random act of violence, some person acting recklessly, this is your hand. this is you.

and if you can be so callous towards her, towards so many good kind innocent people, those sweet little boys, what about me? i am no good. whatever good i do is out of guilt or spite or obligation. how can you do these things when you say you love us? how do you do this to your children? why? i don't understand.

i don't understand you or how this works out or what the point is anymore? what's the point? what happens? really? you know me - i'm a read the ending first kind of girl. i hate surprises. it's exhausting carrying around this hope, arguing for it, fighting for it, and never really knowing if it's going to be useful.

i had faith. strong stand up and testify faith, but this life erodes me. day by day. i do everything i think is right and I still feel so squashed. it seems like i should feel happy and free and light, right? the truth will set you free?? what is the truth?

why?

This Is EXACTLY How I Talk - You pickled lint licker - For Reals!

Thanks Karen! Best Commercial Ever.

Is Perfection Possible?

I can't tell you how often my thoughts go here: Matthew 5:48. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect.

Every time I read that word in the New Testament, I listen up.

I used to cringe at it. How can I be perfect? I'm only human. Humans make mistakes. I'll never be perfect - FAIL!

But, yesterday I got perfected.

It's true. And now I know.

I'll work on a way to share it.

Being perfect is great!

Also, this made me laugh:


Dating Humor:
How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend