(not saying what exactly, but maybe something like this:)
We should all be held accountable for the crap we spouted in high school right? I think so, too. One day, in 1995, during drama class, Victoria Fronk said, "Skinny girls have no personality. They are always just thinking about not eating and they have nothing of value to say."
I was RIGHT there ... she even looked at me. At that moment, I truly believed she must be right. BUT I didn't think I was skinny, so, ha ha. I should find a picture of me that year in something cute ... I have one somewhere ... dangit. I spent the last hour trying, but all I can offer is my kleptomania skirt to show just how dainty I was at the time:
It was the 90's - all my pictures are me in baggy clothes, mostly denim and flannel. I hid inside. It was cozy. Back then, I rarely had time to eat and my mother was a terrible cook. I was skinny and just as self conscious and hyper-sensitive as any other girl in the universe.
Since then, I got pregnant a few times and gained lots of weight. I've been up close to 200 (at 67 inches and 9 months pregnant). Then, I figured out that if you are very careful about your caloric intake, you can lose weight. Very recently I broke the double digit size barrier (on the way back down).
I don't want to be skinny anymore. I want to be tight; fit! Push-ups, sit-ups, running ...
Yeah, I would like a frosty float, but make it with a diet coke, would ya?
I have things to say ... it's not all food? I'm not just weak and grumpy from low sugar ...
Am I?
Frak.
4 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
So, was that skirt mine? Because I have absolutely no rememberance of it. If it was, I'm sorry I was such a poo-poo about clothes cuz I should have given it to you--it looks so cute on you! You look great, btw, I loved your theatre pics. I agree...healthy, not skinny, is my goal. Altho I haven't made as much progress as you have.
I'm waiting to hear about your calling!!! Are you going to make an official announcement? :) I had a bishop's meeting when I was called to RS.....
I have NEVER been thin but you were waif-like. Dog Dang! Thin for me is a size 10. Then again, that is a size 10 late 80's version so with the vanity sizing now, I COULD possibly be a single digit size again (and by 'again' I mean like I was in 7th grade). Maybe.
I'm slowly eecking my way back down the scale. I've been in a 'holding pattern' for a few months but just started kicking it in again last week. I'm hoping to drop another 30 lbs. then decide how much more I need to lose. Sigh.
I do feel you on the fit thing. I LOVE how I feel during and after a hard workout. I feel like I could take on the world and that feeling is pretty addictive. Sadly, so are sweets. Gotta work on the intake thing.
Great post!
I'm smitten with blogging, too. The other day I thought, "Maybe I won't blog for a few days." Then, after a few hours, I thought again and found 101 things to blog about. Blogger addicts, unite!! ;)
I was in YW in my ward {until the sucked me into being Primary Prez...} and many times I could just **feel** the insecurities of the YW bouncing all over the room. The vibe was a little unsettling. But then I remembered how it used to be when I was a teen, looking up to the older girls, wondering if my skirt was too short or too tight or too whatever.
And your point about being skinny is excellent. Sometimes when people complement my skinniness, I retort, "But I'm not fit (toned, in shape). I don't have time."
If I have to choose between either writing or exercise I chose writing every time. I'm shameless that way. And my out-of-shape thighs prove it!
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