Like a Fly in My Mini Van

On Sunday, it seemed like a good idea to trap my family in our red minivan for 6 or 7 hours. Had you been that damn fly that kept landing on my face every time I tried to close my eyes, here are some of the things you may have heard:




Canon (3): I know dis is soap!
Crichton (7): It's not soap. It's spit.


Canon: I want dat!
Me: That? It's just a [Kit Kat] wrapper.
Canon: NO! I waaaaaaaan it!
Me: Okay, here you go.
Canon: Hey! It's just da wapper! I hate you, mommy!


Greg: There sure are a lot of smoke shops [in Twin Falls, ID].
Me: People like their lung cancer, I guess.


Me: Don't punch yourself in the face.
Canon: OW! MMOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!


Crichton: It's a good thing no one knows my hands are secret weapons.


Me: HOLD YOURSELF STILL!
Canon: I want to move it, move it.


Me: You CAN'T unbuckle your seat belt!
Canon: Oh, yes, I can.

(later)

Me: I TOLD you not to unbuckle your seat belt!
Canon: I didn't! I accidentally pushed that wed button.


(kids fighting and screaming, me, warning, threatening, and slapping bums)
Crichton: I hate it when mommy does things for no reason!

And one last moment, not in the car: One my my aunts gave Crichton a "special" cookie. Crichton took a bite. Canon came into the room and Crichton offered him half the cookie. Canon just ran a way like a crazy thing and Crichton looked like he might cry. "What's the matter?" I ask, "Is that a good cookie?" Crichton shakes his head and walks away. I think he was worried about offending my aunt if the cookie didn't get eaten.

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I want to thank everyone who has offered their condolences for my grandmother's death. She's been suffering from Alzheimer's for a few years now and had cancer in her liver. I am grateful I was able to take my children to see her, even if they have no memory of her or the last visit. I was able to say good-bye. Amazing how much easier it is when you don't have any unfinished business or regrets lingering around at the end.

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Finally, I will be spamming everyone I ever met in the near future, appealing to you to come see my show, Cheaper By The Dozen. So, watch for that and hope to see you there. Opening night is Friday, my grandmother's funeral is Saturday afternoon, in Twin Falls, then back home quick for the Saturday show. Pray God for nothing but broken legs! Thank you again.