I put my camera on my husband's car bumper and he went to work.He bought me a new one, but my computer doesn't like new camera's memory stick. (Who can blame it really, you get used to one stick and then I try to force another on it .... I'd be upset and uncooperative, too).
I'm crazy. I have lost my Brandy mind in ways you can not and do not want to comprehend.
I'm not saying I want to write pornographic posts ... but I just feel so ... I'm having a metamorphosis. Too many people who KNOW know me ... who can see my weed infested backyard from their house ... who may be sitting at my Thanksgiving table (or at least are invited to, if they still want to) read my blog. I want to address more mature topics that may not be suitable for all readers.
And that is forbidden.
SO .... I feel stifled, blogularly speaking.
People order me to blog.
I have over a THOUSAND posts of the same old crap ... feel free to peruse my archives.
Tell me what to do? I don't know how to express what's in me ... how to write what's fakey on my mind. I can write what on my mind, and I would go so far as to say, I do it damn well, BUT ...
Not porn, definitely adult. WHY?
So, I'll just go back to pouting and playing scrabble for the day ... try to convince my laptop to consent to the desires of the memory stick. If we get lucky, you get lucky.
Change is good, right? Change is the only constant. Blogs can change ... oh to be anonymous with 3 readers.
5 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
I might be the wrong person you would like to hear from here.
I don't know what agreement you have with your husband about what you do or do not write about. I also don't know what you want to express all over the internet.
I DO know that blogging has been cheap therapy for me. I get to express my true feelings to 'the world'. It lifts a weight off my chest that is exhilarating.
This is the reason I have more than one blog. I have a family blog that those who want to have Thanksgiving dinner with me can read and another blog that can be read by everyone, but is definitely carrying content that would fly right over a 10-year-olds head. People have a choice with my second blog. To read or not to read. My personal blog is really the one that gives family updates. The separation has helped.
I'm not saying you need another blog, but I hope that you can find the personal purpose to this one. No one wants to be restrained in their own realm.
I do love all of your posts, by the way.
Ah, I DO get it. The desire to be authentically you in a culture that has both clear boundaries that are part of the religion (and I'm fine with that) and cultural ones that are made and enforced by judgemental busybodies (not quite so fine with that)
I second the 'start another blog' thing. In fact, I'd love to start a private blog for 'blog friends only' where any of us can put out there the stuff we wouldn't put out there in general.
I like the Mormon Therapist blog because she tackles real issues sent in by readers. It's a great way to realize that people in this culure are dealing with some pretty tough challenges- just like everyone else.
To quote a great book that I recently read ("I'm Down" by Mishna Wolff), "you be you."
My Dad always told me to be myself, but then he also once asked me why I had to be so 'different' all the time.
I don't know if it helps, but f- the censors. I almost wrote the whole word, but I guess this is a family blog and I don't want to offend any listeners/readers/censors.
Man, I feel paranoid now. Then again, I don't live where you live and I don't walk in your shoes.
Hang in there. And you be you.
I think you need an "anonymous" blog.
There are things that are perfectly godly to discuss that we don't discuss in front of children, or our siblings, or whatever.
Our neighbors all have their own struggles... it is just best if we don't know ALL of each-other's thoughts and struggles (when we live next to each other or with each other or know our names and faces).
As you know, I blog in this way.
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