Here's a post I started last night after I put the kids to bed, as I waited for my husband to get home. He was working late so he could come home early for the rest of the week so I can go to play practice. This post is nothing but insanity and poop, and I'm publishing it anyway. So, ha!
(HUGE PROFANITY, really coarse, dirty, and inappropriate and uncalled for)
The things that are bugging me right now.
1. I am SO sick of my face, my skin, my stupid face! Rip it off. It is not fair. I just want to be pretty, no make-up, just smooth and natural. Why can't I have that? Just a simple request. Freaking funny looking thing God made - I feel bad that my husband has to look at me. No wonder he works late, right? Besides drugs I can't take until I am finished bearing children, what the hell is the secret? Tell me NOW!
2. If I make the meal, and you are an adult, you don't fix a plate and go to your room. You sit at the table and help clean up. This is not a hotel with meals provided, this is a home and I have 3 children to feed before I get to sit down. You didn't BUY the food, you didn't MAKE the food, for crying out loud, help clean up!
3. Hi. Please. I hate 6:00 pm every day. I just can't do it and I am incompetent. It is impossible to keep Canon from literally playing in traffic, Sagan from scavenging and falling, not burn the food, get everything done at the right time, it's too much. I need a husband at 6:00. Or another wife. Or a mother who does something, anything helpful. And I can have it if I just get up at 6 and kick him out by 7 or 8. But I can't get him to go to sleep before 12.
4. Sunday, the Sabbath is SUPPOSED to be a day of rest. Not a day where I am SO exhausted from getting ready for and going to church that all I can do is sleep for the majority of the rest of the day. Either revoke the caffeine thing or stop with the church calling intensity. Why so much? Why? Whoever you were who heard a brilliant talk about the Sabbath, help me please. I am approaching the brink of apostasy; church is feeling like too much.
And now I finished the post off today with this:
5. Of course everything is feeling like too much. I'm just going to go ahead and diagnose myself with PPMD. It's PMS and then some. Stupid ovaries. What I need to do is exercise and take my vitamins and take some time to relax but it makes me SO ANGRY that I would have to DO those things, those HARD things, that I decided to order pizza instead. Then I'll probably finish off the chocolate chip cookies. And the ice cream.
Monday, July 13, 2009
SHOCKING - A Post Where Brandy Whines About Crap, HAHA! Be AMAZED!
Labels:
INSANITY,
Mommy Issues,
Motherhood,
PMS/PPMD,
Whiney Poop Face Me
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7 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
If it makes you feel any better, I always thought you looked a bit like Claire Danes ( and I happen to think Claire Danes is very beautiful :)
I feel your frustration through the computer, but I don't know what I can say to help!
Brandy, I totally feel where you're coming from! There are some days (oddly enough, occurring about every 34 days) when it would make me happy if the rest of the world would _____ (insert your own profane instruction here). Chris thinks you're pretty (so do I, but he's an unbiased male).
We agree that adults have a responsibility to sit at the family table and offer adult companionship to the person who cooked the meal. It's not fair to make Mom sit at the kiddie table and act as a servant to the other members of the family. We live with 3 adults in our house too. Luckily it's Grandma who really enforces the family table rule (otherwise Dave would try eating in front of the tv).
Being a mommy is very hard work. I never knew what work really was until we had three kids and Grandma to take care of. It's not the type of work that brings praise and adulation. It's not even the type of work that has quantifiable results at the end of most days. Meals always need to cooked, dishes keep getting dirty, laundry keeps getting dirty, children keep needing discipline and comfort, and husbands keep needing support.
Hang in there (like you always do!). Next week will feel better! You can always come visit Idaho for a while and get to miss working in your own home. I always find it easier to work after I've had a bit of time to miss it :-)
Well, the good thing is that by the time you read this, your day will be half over with...
and tomorrow is a blank canvass...write what you will...it's your canvass.
Hang in there.
Brandy,
We all think you are hot! (and by "we" I mean me, my sister, her husband, and the assorted riff raff we direct to your blog)
But I get what you are feeling.
You mentioned PMDD..I think menstrual related issues get brushed aside as "female drama" and are almost seen as a rite of passage..kind of like having craving when you are pregnant..it's "just part of the process"
I disagree. I think if you even jokingly suspect you might have it, get it checked out:) There is no use suffering if you don't have to!
I felt the same way about the Sabbath as a missionary. It was one of our hardest days. I was like "Sabbath is a day of rest* ..*except for bishops, teachers, moms, missionaries* etc."
My sister would set me on fire if I attempted to make a plate and leave! I don't help as much as I could (she doesnt trust me to load the dishwasher) but I try to make up for it by bringing pizza and stuff a couple of times a month.
Anyway, keep blogging! Hopefully it allows you to get rid of a little frustration:)
Glad I'm not the only one! Enjoy the ice cream!
Ahhhh! I'm sorry you are so frustrated. are you still jogging sometimes? I ask because you often wrote that it helped you feel better on difficult days.
Also, I second Julie's Claire Danes observation!
Brandy, I know you're probably better now. For what it's worth, I don't think it's possible to do all you do and like it. So you're right on schedule.
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