I was reading an article promoting the notion not doing stuff. Seems like the antithesis of my daily struggle, no? All that time I spend fussing with to do lists and pocket mods, what? I should just go upstairs and fold the dreaded laundry?
Or sit and quietly meditate.
The article ends with this question: How do you get nothing done?
*raising hand, bouncing in seat, pick me, pick me - I rock at getting nothing done*
More than my lack of organizational skills, I think it's my weak decision making skills. I am easy to please, laid back, accept what life gives me (What? I am. I think I am.) I just don't like planning things. I don't like making the decisions. OR I plan like crazy and things don't work out and it cause me stress. The reason I have a hard time getting anything (or nothing) done is because there is so much I think I want to do ... and I tell myself if I just schedule and plan and write it down and organize, everything will fall into place and I'll be able to do it. And I'll be happy.
But I don't let myself do the things I want to do until I finish the things I have to do and I don't really want to do the things I have to do so they never get done and I never get to do the things I really want to do and I whine and get pouty and grumpy and complain about how I never get to do anything I want to do. Harumph.
I confess: Nothing I do, housework wise, really takes more than 30 minutes and much less if I do it every day or even just every other day. I could have my whole house sparkling in 45-60 minutes. Housework, even with 3 small kids, is not this all consuming task. Never-ending, sure, but not impossible. Also, my definition of sparkling is pretty dingy, but I'm cool with that. HOWEVER, In my mind, it is SO HARD! My brain is a big fat lazy LIAR head. It's all very very easy. EVEN WITH THREE SMALL KIDS. The kids help. Even the baby.
I get nothing done (nothing I want to get done) because I fail to DECIDE to do it. I just would like it done, or out of the way so I can do what I really want to do guilt-free. But it's much funner to play scrabble on facebook than clean milk off the kitchen floor AGAIN (Sagan, so help me ...).
Every decision you can make in advance of the situation will save you time. If you take 10 minutes to plan a menu for the week, then make a grocery list from that menu, then, at 6:00, when everyone is whiny and hungry, you don't go to the pantry and think ... hmmm, what ever shall I make? Rather than a can of Chef Boyardee, you can make salad and spaghetti from healthy fresh ingredients (like tomoatoes, hold the high fructose corn syrup). Theoretically, if I decide to get up at 6 am and meditate for 10 minutes, exercise for 40, shower, and then blog until my kids wake up, that should work out smooth as butter ... then I can spend all day giving piggy back rides and going down slipery slides and squirting the crap out of my kids with the back yard hose ... I should be able to ...
But there is a kink here somehow.
Maybe it's the 8 times Canon woke me up last night. We're trying this new thing called: I-didn't-buy-any-diapers-and-we're-going-to-effing-potty-train-him-by-Jingo. He got up and crawled into our bed 4 times. First, I'd snuggle him in and drift to sleep for a bit. Then, I'd startle awake because he was on MY side of the bed, just him and big boy underwear and PJ's. I'd verify the absense of urine and carry him back to pee in his own bed. Which he did not do, I'm very proud to say.
Also, Sagan woke up twice. She's a good girl - five minutes of rocking chair snuggles and back to dreamland.
But still, that's 10 nocternal disruptions. In 7 hours. Did I mention I took my last caffeine vitamin today?
So when the alarm starts going off at 6 am (and it ALWAYS does) I no longer CARE one drop about anything beyond how cozy my bed is, even with a munchkin or two cuddled in. Then at 8, when kids are up and husband dear wants to exercise, THEN I really want that 2 hours back, to do what I wanted to do. But I can't have them now and I'm mad. And I spend all day rebeliously doing nothings I should, not even anything I'd would say I want to do if you asked me.
So, if you could, tell me how to fix the kink. If I could just get up at 6, I'm sure that would solve ALL my problems. But I am very lazy at 6 and not getting those selfish Brandy hours makes me kind of a sucky mom. I'd rather not have my husband fall asleep and drive off the road to or from work, so ... that's that. I just need to SUCK IT for 5 years or so? But five years is so long ... that's 1825 days and nights. One thousand, eight hundred, and twenty five.
What's the answer? Surrender? How do I do the things I need to do for the family and still do the things I want to do for just me? Because if I don't do stuff for me, I tend to not do much for anyone, at least not well.
to be edited more later and published now because who knows why....
10 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
I would so love to give you advice, but I am SO in the same boat. And I dont even have any children to justify it.
I find that people usually know the answer to their own questions. They just want to be listened to:)
p.s.- I am sure you are not concerned, but I have been agonizing over our Voldemort discussion for days, just trying to come up with the right response..it should be done soon:)
Well if it isn't the getting up at 6 am then it is something else, there's always some reason things aren't working as well as we'd like.
Boy you and I sound SOOOO alike, it's crazy! I think if we ever met we would get along smashingly! :)
You wouldn't happen to be planning a family vacation to Alaska would you?
You should look at polyphasic sleeping. I'm giving it a whirl. I can't decide whether it's insanity or an awesome way to cut down on the amount of sleep you need. I'll get back to you in a month, if I haven't gone crazy from the lack of sleep.
For reals, there are caffine vitamins?! Where, oh, where do you aquire such items?
I can not tell you how much I am in love with this post! Thank you!
I think you just described my life. However do you do it?
I wish I had the answer. I am ashamed to say that since I found out I was pregnant I have done little to nothing around the house. I did clean the toilet ONCE. Only because it made me want to throw up more when I thought about how long it had been since I cleaned it.
I don't have any kids yet and I'm already in the rut. I sleep in cause that means there are less hours in the day that I feel sick. I watch movies and get on the computer because it doesn't require moving too much, which makes my tummy feel qeezie again.
When you get the answer will you let me know? Post the miracle for everyone to see? Please. I'm begging you.
Ok, one more thought comes to mind..or maybe I just like to hear the sound of my own voice (in my head).
When I first had kids I felt the exact same way. It was so hard to get motivated to do anything. I just felt like I'd been cleaning my whole life. Because my mom worked as kids we were responsible for keeping the house clean. So once I became a mommy, I was so ready to just be done with cleaning.
I'd say, though, that one of life's big epiphanies, though, has been that "life is work." Simple, I know, but we are actually happiest when we work hard at something and accomplish it. We find our lives more satisfying when we keep ourselves busy. Even if that means vacuuming the floor for the 50th time that day (or knowing that even though it doesn't look it, at one point in the day it was done).
Moses 4:25 By the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, until thou shalt return unto the ground—for thou shalt surely die—for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou wast, and unto dust shalt thou return.
Also, I greatly believe that the greater your afflictions, the greater your joys.
Excuse me while I duck as you all throw plates at me.
Seriously! I wish I had written that first! You sound just like me-I never do what I want to do because I have other things that SHOULD be done first, but I don't want to do them, and in return, nothing gets done at all!
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