Days Of The Week

Sunday - The Sabbath, day of rest, peace, harmony. A day set aside, dedicated to worshipping the Lord. And by "worship", I guess I mean "mumble curses," as I try to get everyone ready, with unstained and complete outfits, to church within 5 minutes of on-time, then keep everyone quiet for 80 minutes of congregational devotion. Then, spend the next two hours herding 3-4 year olds thither and yon, reverently, AND teaching them the necessary doctrines and ordinances requisite for their eternal salvation (though if they die before age 8, they win a free trip to heaven). I waver weekly between loving my calling and thinking I have Sunbeams figured out, to bashing my head against a wall because they have "group bladder" for the third time in 15 minutes.

Monday - Recover from the Sabbath Day Day. Teaching 3-4 year olds how to Be Still And Know That [He] Is God is tough work! Then with the napping and the resting from your usual labors (HA HA HA). Leaves me feeling hungover, but with a perfect memory of how truly wonderful the day before was. Monday is free. Do whatever you want, get dressed or not, clean the house or not. BUT as a Bonus, for motivation, DOUBLE POINTS*!!! So, if you do the dishes, it counts twice. If you change a diaper, change a kid out of pajamas, make anything for meals ... double points.

Tuesday - Just another sucky day. Perhaps I should schedule playdates for Tuesday. And plasma donations ...

Wednesday - Run-Away-And-Hide-Out-In-The-Temple-Day! Wahoo. All afternoon, no kids allowed! Take myself to subway, read a newspaper as I munch. Wednesday is heaven sent. I live for Wednesday!

Thursday - Nothing big day. More plasma perhaps. I do so like money.

Friday - FUN FUN FRIDAY!!!! It's the funnest day of the week. A lot like Monday, you do or don't do whatever you want AND get double points, but with the added bonus of getting to say FUN FUN FRIDAY about everything you do. I love Fridays.

Saturday - Daddy's day off. Not nearly as fun as Friday (Greg's kind of a stick in the mud, I try to put a fire in his pants (is that the metaphor I wanted??) but it's hard, what with lawns to be mowed, garages to be organized and computers to work on (and you'd think a video game programmer would want to avoid computers at home, but no.) If fun is to be had on the weekend, it is up to me to make it happen. This is a revelation I just now realized. As in, RIGHT NOW, the very second. Saturdays will no longer suck, thus saith me.

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* Much like on Who's Line Is It Anyway - at my house, everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are like Canada. They just don't matter!