At the request of a loyal reader, I registered and started doing the Twitter thing. That was 257 updates ago. I recently discovered that my brother-in-law sees my Twitter updates on his Google home page. Last weekend, I also learned that a friend has my Twitter updates sent via text message to her phone. It's all so weird because I'm not very good at [I don't even know the correct verb to use].I'm not sure if I should talk to people, like with the @ thing; it seems really ... public. And I don't know what RT means. And I don't feel comfortable using # for anything not related to weight or mass.
Nevertheless, I have three favorite [again, not sure what the noun would be ... Twitterers? Twits?]: johncmayer, EricDSnider, and Matt_Page. I just like non sequitors. If one is going to spew out random statements into the internets, it should be shocking or humorous or witty or something.
I'm not very good.
I began on January 29th, I believe, with this:
What a strange and silly place this is ... how did I get here?
I made potroast and homemade rolls. Husband working late ANYWAY! *grumble grumble grumble*Then I neglected my Twiitering. Posted nothing for over a month. Then this:
6:34 PM Feb 5th from web
Strange, haven't been here for a while and it still looks the same. Hello World.Since then, I have posted once, twice, sometimes 6 times a day, strange random things that happen or pop into my head. Here are a few of my favorites (and by a few, I mean forty):
My husband just said "I like Daylight Saving." I died a little inside.
FUN FUN FRIDAY!!! That's all I got.
Have you had it with the drudgery of constantly scrubbing that dirty kitchen floor? Boo-freaking-hoo, Toots.
Maybe Greg's right. Maybe I am a geek.Someone shut my cakehole. Please.
Having cleaned the vomit out of baby's crib, I will pray that God will take away my headache. And by God, I mean Tylenol.
My husband is not happy that he had to wash his own underwear. Why get married if you have to wash your own underwear? Honestly.Glory be, like the miracle of the fishes and loaves, everyone has clean pants and underwear today.Canon kicked a ball at Sagan's head: "It's okay Sagan, it was the pink ball."
poop goes in the potty, not in your pants, FYI
So my superpower - indefatigable silliness. Yours?I LOVE SCIENCE FRIDAY!!! Dark matter makes me crazy happy.
Canon asking everyone, "Did you wanna talk to the dirty noodle?"
9 1/4 divided by 1/8 ... I get 74. Is that what you get?
I hate doing hard things. Isn't that what husbands are for anyway. Stupid husband, always making me stretch and grow and crap.I have the poopingest kids in the world. So much pooooo, maybe I'm over feeding these guys.
Ever feel like you've lost your freaking mind? Not "ha ha, she's crazy," but, "uh-oh, she's crazy" ... anyone wanna sit my kids and house?
I am the mayor of Peanutopolis. Or so says my snickers wrapper. Fraking 280 calories. Seen Caprica? Boobs.
Strange thing, MY Home Teacher is a stand-up comedian ... http://tinyurl.com/cyn6pqToday I did a 10 minute mile. Oh yes I did. In total, this morning I moved 2.5 miles in 33 minutes and 23 seconds, burning 330 calories.
Which first - change the poopy diaper or take a caffeine vitamin with diet cherry pepsi? Fine, jerk. I'll change the diaper first.
ALL POINTS BULLETIN: One naughty orange kitty (big fluffy tail) didn't come home last night. Answers to "Milo". If you see him, let me know.Cancel the all points bulletin, naughty kitty has come home, I repeat, MILO is home! (note to self, put a collar on that boy!)
I think Handy Manny and Kelly should hook up. When she says, "Day Nada, Manny," I hear, "I want to meet you behind the toolshed. No tools."HI, my name is Brandy and I have PICA! I just ATE my kid's Anakin Skywalker's light saber. Anyone know of a cure? A 5K or something?Dropped family off at church then snuck home to "get something". Put on a roast and started bread. House so quiet. I have to go back? *sigh*Hey! Don't put pizza on your sister's head!
We are ROCKING the pants off RUPERT, IDAHO!!!(Hey, you know what?) We are obsessed with all things chicken butt today. (Chicken Butt!)
Has anyone seen my (insert a lot of profanity) eye brow tweezer thing? I'm freaking Chewbakka here!
Husband won't let me dress up to go to Star Trek. I promised to leave my phaser set to stun-ning!!!I can't say that I've RUN a 5K, but I've now DONE a 5K - 37:02!! Go Me!!!Ever since I completely abandoned all hope of being spiritually uplifted at church, things have been going so much better.
Things might be a little out of control here ...
What's that slime on the floor? Am I being haunted by a malevolent spirit? No. It's the gelatinous goo in baby meatsticks. Yummy. *slurp*I'm so tired of my life being centered around poop and my boobs, y'know? Yeah.I wish the maid would do her JOB while I sit and watch TV ...
Three year old, with manual breast pump in hand, says, "I'm gonna SUCK you UP!"
If I learned anything this weekend, it's that I like Cherry Coke Zero better than Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Yup, I'm a convert.DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR BAGPIPES????
You can follow me on Twitter. If you like. But I can't reccomend it.
3 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
I can't follow anyone very well. I'm also the woman who can't find her car keys or her cellphone if it isn't in plain sight. Twitter leaves me in the dust wondering what happened?
"It's okay, Sagan, it was a pink ball" LOL!!
Totally something that would happen at our house.
I'm avoiding Twitter. More successfully than my avoiding Facebook...
*I'm not very good at "tweeting" would be the correct verbage.
*Three favorite "tweeters".
I think that's it. I'm not sure, but you know I hear a lot from the kids and such.
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