I have Literally been struggling all day on this post. Like I have never ever struggled before. I have written it a dozen times and deleted it. It's just not coming out right.
Maybe I've lost my bloggy touch.
I went for the straight faced "strange thing happened to me at the temple yesterday" angle, but it felt too preachy. Too "Look at Brandy, so richus."
I tried for a Button eyes me format, so I could mock my own religious fanaticism. That felt awfully blasphemous. Making light of a sacred (if insane) experience, not a good way to get God to look kindly upon you.
I tried fervently to distract myself with emails and illness. Not quite sure how to say what I want to say without making all my beloved and devoted readers shake their heads.
Maybe I can just tell you ... the nice picture of Jesus told me ...
See.
Just not cutting it.
SO!
Have you ever had a beyond explainable religious experience that you totally wanted to share but couldn't for fear of institutionalization? And what did you do?
Do you believe in God? In Jesus? Why death? So, death, and then what?
Cheese puffs, distracted ... giving up. You inspire me (that's an order, not a compliment).
11 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
I can't be inspiring, but I can be intrigued. Now I'm all a-mess wondering what Jesus told you. :)
Oh the intrigue. Seriously, nothing even remotely fantastical ever happens to me (such as hearing voices from unborn children, or seeing visions etc.) The best I have is one time I'm pretty sure the Holy Ghost saved my life, but who doesn't have those kind of aha moments.
:) Thanks for your comments on my blog, by the way...you are a sweetheart! I am definately feelin' the Layton love ;)
Don't you think that when you have those epiphanies it's because you were taught...spirit to spirit...and that's not something you can explain to someone else because they were not seeking the same answers and were not prepared for that same inspiration? At least that's what happens to me, so maybe...
I recieved revelation that I should serve a mission while eating a grilled cheese sandwich. So yeah..I think I am open to whatever :) You know none of us Mormons will think you are crazy. We've heard it all at Testimony Mtg..the question is, do you want to share
p.s. Tiffany..I loved your comment. Its written almost poetically.
Wow- I'll just hitch on to what Tiffany said because I think she probably nailed it.
Perhaps you can't think of how to share it because it isn't something that is supposed to be shared- at least not right now and not here? (and that statement is coming from me, a chronic over-sharer who is TRYING to learn when to use discresion so ignore that advice if it isn't helpful).
I think you should just share your experience (if sharing is what you want to do, of course)in your own words and your own way and not worry about how it will be percieved. I've always been a firm believer that spiritual beliefs are a personal experience and we should all try to be more respectful of each others beliefs and not object, categorize or resent people for what they choose to believe. I would very much like to hear about your spiritual experience and I promise I won't think you are preachy!
Just some writing ideas:
Well, obviously we all know it's you, but if you wanted "writing" distance, you could try third-person, of course I wouldn't recommend using "Brandy" a lot but maybe "she." (At the end maybe you could use "I.")
Or you could try using metaphors to link your experience to something we've all experienced.
Finally you might try giving the bare bones sense or feel of it by a poem that depends on imagery.
Just some ideas. Good luck.
If you are concerned about institutionalization, then you could be funny and button eyed about it and write it from the perspective of a person conducting the assessment of you in the mental institution. That may also feel blasphemous, but perhaps it would be fun to write and feel like a safer way to share your experience and would be taking your little fear of that to a funny and unbelievable level.
And you are NOT going to be insitutionalized!. I totally second all the previous comments, especially Tiffany and Julie!
Share what you feel comfortable sharing.
Hey Brandi -- If you ever want to discuss the particulars of your spiritual experience, you've got my e-mail address. (And if you don't, it's Veres489@aol.com ) If you tell me your spiritual experience, I'll tell you mine. And since I'm pretty much a godless heathen these days, but nonetheless filled with the Holy Spirit... this could be interesting. :-)
I"m going to have to "ditto" what everyone has just said.
Well I'm just going to say that recently I could swear I was 'visited' by one of my closest friend's father when I was kind of half awake right before a nap......and he died back in 2003. I told him that I was so, so lost, and he replied that I am the right track and I should keep at it kiddo. That's how he always talked before. "kiddo this or kiddo that." And then I asked him what he thought of my friend and I asked him wasn't he proud of her and he said yes, of course. Then I hugged him and asked him if he was happy and he said yes, but to tell Fran (or did he say Frannie?) that he missed her...Fran is my friend's Mom. Then he gave me a quick hug and the black power sign .....(that was his way of saying goodbye when he was alive, as he was African American and it's a bit of an inside joke since he always got a kick out of my laughable version of it that looked like a cheerleader).....
and then he was gone.
And then almost immediately there was this burst of sunlight in through the blinds when it had been a really really gray and gloomy day. It was, needless to say, a really strange experience and I felt really strange. I almost immediately sat up in bed, where I had been previously laying around moping, and yet rather than feeling compelled to wake up and do something, I still continued to lay there and even took a nap. I almost forgot the whole thing after my nap, but then I recalled it maybe later that day, maybe the next. And his words still stick with me...."You're on the right track.....keep at it kiddo."
So maybe that's a religious experience, maybe not.....but it certainly was profound, at least for me. There's a whole heck of a lot more to the backstory that would maybe illuminate a little more, but it's way too much to detail here.
So there you have it. My profound 'religious' experience. I have not yet shared it with anyone. Not even my husband.
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