Pink Eye .... Brains ....

I thought I had scratched my eye or something, it was all red and bloodshot. This morning, when it was swollen and glued closed, it became perfectly clear. I have pink eye. Again.

Around Christmas of '07, we went down to Arizona. I went feeling unwell and ended up going to a clinic on Christmas Eve to be diagnosed with strep throat, pink eye, and a severe sinus infection. You should have heard me sing "Away In a Manger" that year - I sounded like Rudolf the Red Eyed Tree Frog, I tell you.

You know how you get pink eye? You get it when crap gets in your eye. Like fecal matter. So ... I think back to how often crap might have made contact with my eye recently:

1. Any of the dozens of times I've changed a diaper and told myself I can just wipe my hands with another diaper wipe instead of washing with antibacterial soap and hot water. Then itched my eye.

2. When my Mary Kay Beauty Consultant came over (the day before my luncheon), she used a spray bottle to clean her applicators before using them to give me my "glam look" ... that spray may have been liquid poo for all I know. Don't share/recycle make-up applicators, folks. It's the same idea as you have sex with every one your partner had sex with. Exactly like that. I feel dirty.

3. Yesterday, half the Sunbeams wanted to sit on me. They touch all kinds icky things (my bum itches, my finger smells funny, ohh a booger - yumm, teacher can I sit on your lap?) ... anyone of them could have infected me - germ infested little creatures.

4. We had Utopia installed at our house on Saturday - it's not as great as they make it sound, but the computers run faster. Fast computers=Utopia. But I had to clean out the laundry/lots-of-random-wires-and-computer-bits-that-my-husband-calls-a-server room where the kitty litter box resides. Flying shards of kitty litter into my ungoggled eyes. Safety first, ESPECIALLY when working with kitty litter. Also, my handiwork broke when I picked it up. I didn't swear. But I should have. Maybe I will later.

5. Canon spent most of the day, after church, running around either half naked or completely naked. I'm sure there was lots of bum and wanker touching and never enough hand washing before saying, "Mom, I need uh huuugg."

So, today, I think I have pink eye and probably strep and if the 3-4 year olds didn't infect me, I may have infected them. Also, maybe a sinus infection.

I need to go grocery shopping. My husband's work project is due today, so he'll be late, I imagine. I forgot that my kid's carpool ride is in blessed Bermuda this week, so I took him to school in my PJ's and pink eye. And we were late. And, in honor of Dr, Seuss' birthday, it's silly hat and socks day, so he was wearing my green and black striped thigh highs and a tambourine tied to his head. My husband keeps making helpful suggestions like, "Why don't you ask Lanette to watch the kids so you can go to the doctor?" To which I wonder out loud why no one ever takes care of me. Also, breaking news, baby girl won't stop screaming, so she probably feels awful, too. And the last thing Greg said to me was, "Did you wash me any underwear?" Why I oughtta ....

So today should be fun.

To his credit, Greg did call in late so he could pick me up some essentials at the grocery store. And he was able to dig out some "fat underwear" so, as long as everyone's immune systems do their thing, we will survive.