This is my (pathetic) contribution to a community bloggy thingy.
Post-temple endowed Mormon's wear funny underwear. You can Google Images them, if you must. They're just like an undershirt and very long boxers; manly for guys, ever-so-slightly-frilly for girls. Garments, we call them. I prefer mine in silky, not cotton. They're really not that funny, not any more so than other underwear ... especially the butt floss girls wear nowadays. If the purpose of underwear is to cover up your naughty bits and keep tender spots from chafing (and possibly remind you of the sacred covenants you have made with God), I'd say my underwear do a dang good job. Maybe that's my cognitive dissonance speaking though.
When you bend over to pick up a child, the gap between your mommy jeans and your perfect fit tee shirt reveals your carefully tucked, but always slipping, Garments. Thus, your well intentioned mother-in-law may say, "Your Religion is showing," and you may growl mental profanities, but thank her as you tug down your shirt and hike up your jeans. It's better than seeing people's butt cracks or thong things hanging out.
Sometimes your religion shows as you go about your business and you just can't help it.
I have some laundry to air: I think Garments need an upgrade, okay?
Here's the thing: The tops are longish and the bottoms are highish, tuck A into B and be on your way. Except, I say B is too high, like above my waist approaching my bosoms and I don't like that. I'm not saying I want super-ultra-low-rise bottoms, I just want them to fit better, cuz they creep down to my pants' waist anyway, then I just have a ton of fabric all congregating uncomfortably around my middle. And, yes, I've tried getting the petite bottoms, maybe I am just extra short in the torso, I don't know, but it keeps bugging me.
Then the elastic in the neck of the tops is very, very flimsy and quickly becomes useless. It's not like I am yanking and stretching it so I can wear my low cut, cleavage revealing tops; I just wear tee shirts most of the time ... but the stupid elastic gives out and the whole top is just a flopsy stupid mess, held in place by my bra. Maybe the cotton top's elastic is more durable, but I don't like to wear cotton.
Look, I gave up wearing anything approaching sexy underwear, okay, I'm fine with that, but I'd like my underwear to feel supportive and feminine, like a good friend. Can't they come up with something all modest beyond modest AND make it feel nice to wear? And durable.
15 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
Perhaps, you should try the spandex type bottoms. They are still slikery like silk, but they stay in place better (though they too are high waisted). As for the "too much in the middle" fabric problem try a silk top with just the center bust line gathered or even a smaller size. Maybe that would help. Stupid, frustrating underpants anyhow! :)
Good Luck
I'm not a member of your church, but I really don't see why outsiders make fun of this practice. I guess if they also make fun of turbans and other pieces of clothing associated with a religion, then at least their consistent. But I just don't see this as funny.
I have no opinion on the comfort or discomfort or practicality of the garments, since, like I said, I'm not a member of your church.
Those don't look comfortable. No wonder my boss is always pulling his pants around and adjusting the crotchetal area.
I agree with slainangel --- get the "biker shorts"
Yeah girl I think that there have been upgrades and you just haven't partaken of the joy of them.
Look ladies I HAVE the fancy new and improved lycra panties on RIGHT freaking NOW and I am telling you they come up too high. I HAVE the chemise tops with just a center bust gather and the elastic in the neck line STILL sucks.
There are no innovations I have not invested in. Perhaps a microchip would help.
I want a bottom that hits right between my belly button and my hoochie coo (not between my boobs and belly button) and I want a top more with a neckline more like my tank tops, but with cap sleeves, for modesty's sake, y'know.
And Jenny, as far as I can tell, men and the crotchetal adjusting is universal, with no respect to religion or even underpants.
THIS is informative and entertaining. I agree that when religion shows on any individual, it usually is an unflattering side.
Not wearing any is?
This may make me the antichrist?
Gave them up along time ago and never looked back one less thing to wash too.
Not wearing any ... ever? Even during the curse? No ... I think undies are a must, one way or another. I might complain, but I would never abandon them permanently. Feel free to "free vag" if you must, but as for me and my house ...
Brandy, I heard a rumor that Mormons bathe in their undergarments and I figured it isn't true because then they would be wet and that seems silly. Is that true? Please shed light on the myth!
Amen Brandy. I can never get them to fit right either. I once went to a FHE in my single days living in SLC where a woman who worked at the place where they make garments came to talk to us. I think she was there to ask if we had questions about the proper wearing of the garment or something. I thought the poor woman might get linched with all of the comments people were throwing at her about they way they fit. I don't think we are alone in our discomfort.
Mambinki - I think a long, long time ago, people wore their garments all the time, literally. But it has been clarified that we should wear them all the time, whenever possible and appropriate. Most garment wearing Mormons agree that it's not appropriate to wear them when you go swimming or take a shower or while being intimate. Some people (like famous Mormon football players) don't feel it is appropriate to get all sweaty and dirty in them - I don't exercise in mine, but I don't go to a gym or out jogging, either. For the most part, it's a personal call, how you interpret your commitment, how you define all the time or justify why you need to participate in an activity that doesn't let you wear them properly or at all.
Or maybe that's just me ... how it was explained to me before I went through the temple - I know people who are more and less strict about it, but I don't know anyone who showers in their "g"s.
Shannon - they, whoever makes the patterns, could ASK women, like modern young women, for suggestions for improvement, I'm not trying looking for a way to show off my rock hard abs and voluptuous cleavage (ha ha), I just want more structure to my life, even my underwear. Glad I'm not alone ... we yank and tug together.
LOL! This entry is hilarious! I have felt the same way! I wouldn't want to go without my "testimonies" (what we call temple garments in our house). At the same time could they just move the waist line down a little?! LOL! I like the lace on the tops and on the edges. I think mine are cute. I think that a man must have design the bottoms. There not in proportion to my frame.
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