The Happy Childhood Memories

This is my parents wedding picture, June 18th 1977.

I've been trying to dig out some happy childhood memories to blog about and it's not that my childhood was a big black cloud of despair, it just seems very apparent to me that I was raised by "do what feels good" hippie type parents. There just wasn't much done with regard to welfare the kids. My mom took us to matinees once in a while. Mostly what made my childhood happy was my freedom.Here's our cute family picture - I'm about 1 and a half and mom is pregnant with my little brother.

When I was about 6, I asked my mom if I could play at a friend's house down the street. She said no, but had no good reason why not, so after constant begging, she consented. The original friend eventually had to go somewhere, so I went to a different friend's house, several blocks away. Mom yelled to come home (she always yelled, it was dreadful ... BBBRRRRAAAANNNDDDYYY!!! TIME TO COME HOME!!!!), but I didn't hear, panic ensued. I was finally found and spanked and sent to my room. I insisted that this treatment was unfair, I TOLD mom I was going to be at my friend's house and that's where I was (leaving out it was a different friend). Dad sided with me, against mom - he made my mom feel stupid and apologized to me for the spanking. Thus at a very early age I learned many important things:

1. I could get my way if I whined enough.
2. Mom and Dad were easily divided, as both wanted to be the nice one.
3. I could talk my way out of trouble.
a. Tiny lies mixed with mostly truth were my best defense.
b. Leaving out important details was also useful.

So I spent the rest of my life doing what I wanted. I missed a lot of school (always parent excused), I read a lot of books, I played with my friends.

I do remember a couple of positive family activities. We would turn off the TV once in a while and sing together, my dad played guitar and my mom sang. This usually ended in my dad being frustrated by my mom not singing in key, but it was always very fun while it lasted. We sang John Denver, old country songs, Disney songs, Christmas songs. It was even better when we'd get together with my guitar playing aunts or uncles and sing around a campfire. Those are good memories. At my wedding, my dad and mom and brother sang a few of those old songs ... I'll see if I can get the VHS put on DVD and post if for you this month.

I remember sometimes my dad and I would sit on his car at night and look at the stars. He would tell me the Greek and Roman myths that went along with the constellations. My favorite was the story of Medusa. Dad also had this epic story along the lines of a D&D game in which he and his good buddies, Wayne and Smitty, battled Ogres in dungeons and such.

Once, there was a Young Women's Daddy Daughter bowling date activity. Dad rarely did anything like that with me, but using lesson #1, I guilted him into taking me. He got the lowest Dad score ... never did anything like that again.

When I was maybe 7, I was on a tee-ball team. We were last place in the pre-season and ended up with 2nd place in the finals. Dad told me later that I had asked him not to come to my games because he embarrassed me by cheering too loud. Dad always liked to be noticed, to stand out and he'd talk to anyone who'd listen. I don't remember making that request, but it's probably why my family rarely if ever went to any of my future performances of any kind. Ever.

No, no, Brandy, happy memories.

This is my Grandma Anderson. We lived with her from when I was 2 until she passed away when I was 12. She loved this little bird - Charity. Grandma would put sunflower seeds in her lips and Charity would "kiss" her to get them.

I remember snuggling with my grandma, skooching in close by her on her chair and watching terrible Soap Operas (Bo and Hope, Roman and Marlana). She would share her Post-em with me. She had a medicine bottle full of quarters and she'd give me a task, like clean the fridge door or dust the knickknacks and I'd earn a quarter. In those days, I could get 2 dime candies and a few penny candies. She'd give me a little extra to pick her up a Chick-o-Stix because she liked candy as much as me. I remember her helping me memorize the Articles of Faith and taking me to church every Sunday. I remember grandma playing Gin-Rummy with me in the evenings when nothing new was on TV. Grandma made amazing Christmas candies and Thanksgiving pies, I was her taste tester. In the summer, she and I would go out and pull weeds. My dad would get mad at her and tell her not to and she would say, "If you and Loa [my mom] would do it, I wouldn't have to." Sometimes grandma would take me with her when she visited her other 5 children. It made me feel so special, like she was proud of me and happy to have me along. Grandma did my hair; she would put curlers in my hair for school pictures and she taught me how to braid. When I was baptized, she bought me a lovely new dress - the first time I ever remember having a new dress, the rest were hand-me-downs from all my various cousins. Once, when I was little, maybe 5, my grandma spanked me because I wouldn't put my coloring books away at bedtime. When I calmed myself down, I noticed she was quietly crying. I asked her why she was crying. "It breaks my heart when I have to punish you, Brandy." I loved my grandma very much and tried hard to make her proud and happy. Those are good memories.This is Grandma Anderson and a few of her grandkids, I'm the one in the middle, my cousin Rick is on the left and Erica on the right.

One funny story my dad loved to tell: I was about 3 and my mom was holding me on a chair. It was one of those sweet, peaceful moments. She looked down at me and said, "I love you, Brandy," I looked up at her and said, "I know, I have that effect on people," then I get up, wiggle my bum and say, "I'm so good."

Anyway, I must go make some memories with my kids now. This exercise is really impressing upon me that I want my children to have TONS of good memories with me; I don't want them to struggle to find something happy. Traditions, special events, one on one time. I must work harder to create opportunities for memories.

I think we'll decorate for Halloween today...