Something Funny, Something Uplifting

DO you ever watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC? It's a show about the couple who have a 2 6 yr olds and 6 2 yr olds (probably ages 7 or 8 and 3 or 4 now). It's one of those shows that makes me feel better about the chaos I live in, makes mine much more tolerable. I think to myself, I have 1 two year old and they have 6 ... I'm so grateful for just the one. They talk about one kid or another filling a certain role - Aiden is the professor, Hannah is the little mother, Leah is the loud one, stuff like that.

A while ago, asked Crichton which "one" he is. "I'm the smart one," he tells me, all sure of himself.

"And which one is Canon?"

"He's the silly one."

Yes he is. Canon has some, we'll call it some Anderson Brat in him. I'll take credit, he gets it from my side. He's got a mischievous glint in his eye and he smiles as he shoots you with and calls you poo poo face. He is a million miles away from Crichton, temperament wise. I would tell Cri not to go in the street and Cri didn't go in the street. Ha ha, this parenting stuff is cake! I'm a great mom! Now I have Canon and I swear he thinks "STOP!" means run away as fast as you can towards traffic! I invented a game when we wiggle and move then I say "STOP!" and we hold still, hoping it would drive the concept home. No, now he just yells at me to STOP when I try to chase him down.

I had hoped to potty train Canon before Sagan was born, but, as it turns out, you actually have to POTTY TRAIN the kid to potty train them. He'll sit and play with his diaper full of poo until diaper rash starts, then he runs to me and says, "It hooots mee mooom!" I tell him if he'd only poop in the potty, this wouldn't happen, but alas. At least when the ordeal is over he gives me a big hug and says, "Tay too mommee!" before running into the street.

Sometimes we put a blankie over Sagan's car seat and just let her sleep in it. Canon will peak under and announce, "BAYBEE AHHHSEEP!" several times, louder each consecutive time. Then he'll pull off the blankie and demand, "SAYDEN WAKE UP!" and pry open her eyes. This all takes .0001 seconds and before we can run over to stop him, baby girl is awake and not happy about it.

Today I was trying to catch a little nap on the tiny love seat during Movie Nap Time. We watched the old Return To OZ movie - kind of good actually. I had baby girl asleep on my chest and Canon tries to climb up with us. When he realizes he can't fit, he decides he must have, "pop porn" to watch his movie. I ask Crichton to make a bag of popcorn for his brother and he, good obedient boy of mine, does so. So I think Canon is in the kitchen (#1 most dangerous room for a 2 yr old!) watching the popcorn pop, all quiet and anticipating, but then Canon comes down to me and says, "Ahhlll buddered ap!" He has found a soft stick of butter which I'd left on the counter near the microwave and evidently decided to get himself buttered up. I guess he likes extra butter on his "pop porn."

My favorite phrases are, "mama hugs!" and "tiss me mama!" He's just this big, fluffy, bright, tough, sweet, little guy that I can hardly wait to watch grow into an adult. He laughs when I'm sure any other kid would cry, he gives just as much to his 6 yr old brother as he takes, but when big brother is crying in time out, he gives him a hug and then does something silly to cheer him up. His blue eyes, his floppy ears, his big, ever present smile.

A post scriptal example - JUST NOW! I told the boys no playing in the mud after their last few experiences. And what do I hear? They are not out there for 5 minutes before Canon is turning on the water. Noble Crichton rushes over to turn off the water just as I come out with hands on hips.

"Canon! I told you no mud today! What do I have to do to get you to stop playing in the water and mud?" I'm not really mad, just playing mad, and they know it. "I know, I'll cut off your hands." I pick up the heavy duty burger flipper off the BBQ Grill, "This should do it," I say as I bring the side of the spatula down hard on the table, "now, give me your hand."

"NO MOM!" yells Crichton.

"Oh, yes, this is the only way he'll learn, my dear." Canon calmly slides his hand toward me. I grab it and slowly bring the side of the spatula to his wrist, "1, 2, ...." I look at Canon. He smiles at me. "Are you calling my bluff, boy?" I ask.

"Yeah," says my monkey.

"I'll call 911 if you do it mom," says the knight in cut-offs and a dirty T shirt.

"1 ... 2 ........... 3!" I yell as I bring the spatula down hard to the table, missing his wrist by a foot and denting the table surface. Canon giggles and squirms away. I sigh. Defeated by a 2 year old. Again.