When I transferred from my little liberal arts college (Cornell College, Mt. Vernon, IA) to my Big Church Run University (Brigham Young University, Provo, UT), I lost 6 credit hours - the new school didn't accept my 20th Century American Women Writers and my Women's Studies courses. I'd have to check, but I don't even think BYU has women studies courses. Family Sciences, yes, but not sure about women studies. FYI, BYU tuition was 1/10 that of Cornell College.I don't remember much about my Women's Studies class, except I didn't want to wear make-up, shave, or wear high heels. It made me realize how evil the porn industry is. I felt bad for the Chinese girls who were foot-binded. We got a free subscription to Ms. Magazine. Mostly, it made me aware of how unequal women have always been treated and how we're just as capable in most any occupation as men, though on average we're paid like $0.72 for their $1. And don't forget the chains and shackles of marriage and home, keeping the girl down. It's the same basic format racial minorities are fed to keep us all dissatisfied and unhappy.
10 years later it all makes me roll my eyes. Writing in my PJ's, after a mostly sleepless night with a sick kid. After holding him all day yesterday as he burned with fever and refused to eat or poop, I just think, what day care provider would have been willing, yet alone able to do that for him? And what nanny would have put in all those over night overtime hours for free, out of love and concern? He's MY kid and taking care of him is MY job. All jobs have their fun parts and their sucky parts, things that are rewarded and appreciated and things that go unnoticed, but must be done. As a woman, you power thru the junk that must be done and savor the good stuff. Every child deserves to have at least one person in their life who will always hold them, always look when they say "watch this," clap for every performance, hug them whether they're being snugglely or prickly - just love them unconditionally. A child gets two if they're lucky.
That Woman's Studies class addressed a lot of issues we face, but I have no memory of it making me want to be a mother, of it looking at the challenges and joys moms face. I think those feminazi-type college courses do women a terrible disservice. Motherhood is the most amazing experience I have had. Each day, the things I do impacts the lives of my children. I have learned so much about patience and how miraculous the human body and life and the world are. There is no paying job I could hope for that will teach me what unconditional love is.
You get my point, motherhood is beautiful hard and important.
Now, I'm gonna take my big fat belly and aching back to the shower and run out all the hot water. Perhaps I'll do my hair, perhaps I'll put my PJ's back on. Don't have those kind of choices at a paying job ....
2 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
In my experience, many women's studies courses do actually appreciate the difficulties and opportunities of motherhood. But it's just not the only opportunity female writers have cherished and struggled to have appreciated.
I never see the resemblance between someone who wants woman to be treated fairly and Nazis. Maybe I missed how your course was so radicalized that it was a feminazi course? Or maybe that term just hurts my heart.
Anyway, I think a lot of the perception of feminists being against motherhood is wrong. Aren't all of us women just trying to find our places in the world? Some feel a calling toward motherhood and some feel a calling toward other aspects of life; some feel called to both. One isn't better or less worthy than the other, in my opinion they're just different ways of contributing as a human being, for very different people. Why can't we support each other and be proud of women, regardless of our vocation in life? I think women's studies programs are a way of honoring and valuing all the ways women contribute to this world, motherhood definitely included.
"It's the same basic format racial minorities are fed to keep us all dissatisfied and unhappy."
I don't really agree with this. Noting inequalities, which is the first and most basic step to effect change, is not a tool to keeping people unhappy. It is to notice the reality that some are suffering for the benefit of others. I also think many people of color reading this statement could take a lot of offense to this statement because it is kind of belittling what a struggle it can be to be constantly marginalized in the very white-dominated culture we live in.
Anyway, I had that same women's study course at Cornell and that professor was a lunatic. She was really, really hysterical and even at age 18, and being quite the Ani DiFranco goddess drawing person I was, I though she was totally off her rocker. She was quite negative and had NO positive things to say or anything about changing anything. Wah. That class was kinda ridiculous. I did LOVE the goddesses in mythology class I took though (taught by a man no less).
Motherhood is an incredible and difficult job. And, if you mess up big time with it, you don't just get fired or anything, the consequences are huge. It is a BIG DEAL THING. But, what is amazing about the situation for many women in the western world is we can CHOOSE if and when we want to be mothers. We have choices. In many parts of the world, that is not the case and it didn't used to be in the US either. Where I lived in Africa, women are married off at 14, have 10 or so babies, see several babies die and they also ALL have the female circumcision/ female genital mutilation done. They actually thought it was really weird when I told them I didn't have that done. Anyway, we should know about these things, although preferably in a less hysterical format then that class at Cornell. It is important and we should appreciate the choices we have.
Okay, getting off the soap box now!
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