The following is a transcription of a pre-bedtime, somewhat Oedipal conversation, after Crichton had taken me on a "date" all day to SLC - there were train rides, lunch with daddy, ice cream, Barnes and Noble, the fun-to-run-around-in fountain, the Gateway Children's Museum, Clark Planetarium - a glorious experience for all, except that I ruined the whole day by not buying him anything from the museum gift shop, even though dad bought him a prism at the planetarium. Spoiled monkey.Crichton: Now [mommy] is my girlfriend because I took her on a date.
Me: No, I'm just daddy's girlfriend.
Dad: No, mommy is my wife.
Me: But I'm your girlfriend, too, aren't I?
Crichton: You can be his wife and my girlfriend.
Me: No, I can't be one person's wife and another's girlfriend, I'm just daddy's wife and girlfriend.
Crichton: No - because I saw on a show where a woman was married to one man and was another man's girlfriend, so it really is real.
Dad: What show was that?
Crichton: The History Channel.
At which point I was overtaken by an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Who knows which whore from history had captured my sweet 6 yr old's attention. Now, to go about teaching him all about monogamy, chastity, fidelity, and such!
Fortunately, Saturday on Veggie Tales, they did a rendition of the story of King David (the bit in the Bible where the king lusts after another man's wife and sends the woman's husband to the front lines of battle, where is is killed, then king sweeps in and takes her to be his wife ... this pretty much damns King David. Veggie Tales did it with rubber duckies. The king had lots of rubber duckies, but wanted jr. asparagus's, too - sent jr. asparagus to war (involving pies?) and gets the duckie. BUT in this version, the king is convinced to give the duck back to asparagus.
Anyway, there is muchness of Grand Theft Auto IV swearing going on behind me, so I have to invoke the Mother's Day rules for my last 3 hours.
Gosh I like Veggie Tales ... everyone laughs but for different reasons. Perhaps I'll invest in some DVD's.
Now then, Oh where is my hairbrush?
** update - Greg stayed up til midnight playing GTA IV ... as I slept, having bizzar dreams, on the couch beside him.
3 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
Oh, great, thanks-- now I'll have that hairbrush song stuck in my head all day.
Eh, I guess it's not so bad
It's been stuck in my head for 5 years.
Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh WHHHEEERRRREEEEEE is my hairbrush?
Sometimes it's the cheeseburger love song ... oh I love that song ... just get the Silly Songs with Larry CD. Drive yourself nuts!
Besides, LiteralDan, this post, and some others, was inspired by your ever funny relaying of things your kids say, hey everyone, go visit his websight and vote for funniest dad blog.
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