I wanted to address important issues:
I am concerned about the FLDS children, who are now in danger of being adopted to other random families because Texas disagrees with the 1st amendment. Can you imagine, 400+ children, I haven't seen proof or heard of adults being arrested for crimes against children. We know there was underage, possibly forced, marriages going on; why are the adults involved not arrested? Can you imagine being a sheltered 6 yr old child, separated from your parents and family, given to strangers? This is not okay. What the hell is wrong with Texas and the US that this is acceptable?! And just to clarify, I do not think the lifestyle of the FLDS community is good for children, but I think it is impossible for a judge to make proclamations on 400+ children - I think EACH case needs to be reviewed separately. I think the FLDS people should be allowed to continue to worship and practice their religion, but in such a way as young women are unable to be forced into marriage and young men are not cast out from their society. The laws should protect the children, it's not necessary to protect consenting adults.
Which takes me to the gay marriages in California. Again, feel free to disagree, feel free to tell me of the abomination and damnation ... marriage, as far as I'm concerned, is a foundation for stable adults to establish the best environment in which to bring up children. A 2 parent, mom and dad situation is by far the best arrangement. That's what marriage is about, BUT our stupid country has no problem with single people raising kids, divorce, remarriage, live-in boy/girl toys, basically our country says "Grown-ups, do what you like, your wants come first." I hate that, I disagree, I think the laws and focus should be completely concerned with what is best for children, but it's not. THAT being the situation, I see no reason why gay couples, polygamists, even stupid people can't get married. As if marriage is this big glorious wonderful thing. As if people take their vows seriously, as if the vows are a binding contract. No one is bound by "in good times and in bad." It only means something when the individuals involved MAKE it mean something, when they take the vows seriously and live up to them DAILY. So good luck Ellen and Portia ... happy life to you.
RE: my feminazi post of a couple days ago and Vesperstar's comment - "nazi" is a clumsy inaccurate word, heavy with connotations. I have no distinct individual in mind, just a general mental construct of these powerful looking women in business suits and heels who point at me, with my messy hair and dirty shirt, laughing, making me feel worthless for being just a mom, as if I'm squandering my potential and wasting my best years. I'm not sure these women exist anywhere outside my personal self-doubt and imagination. You are right, we women should all be supporting each other in our decisions, whether to contribute in the work force or as a mother. However, I have a problem with women who think they can do both at the same time: As if they can go off for 8-12 hours a day to be a doctor as their kids sit in daycare or hang with the nanny and this mom considers herself a great success on all fronts (as if any women ever feels she does enough, my poor sisters). A child needs his mother to be there, to watch the cute and silly things, to teach and hug and love - no day care provider, even a gramma, is as good as mommy. I've talked to actual real women who work because they think they'd go crazy if they had to stay at home with the kids all day. I go crazy, but I stay home because my kids need ME. Some moms say they HAVE to work to make ends meet ... but by making ends meet, they seem to have enough for nice work clothes, manicures, cute hair cuts with highlights, two car payments, with the accompanying gas and insurance. I know there are actual cases where the mom would have to work, but I would wager that MOST of the time, it is selfishness and materialism, not necessity. I wish I could give all women who want it the chance to be a stay at home mom, it is a wonderfully disastrous mess, a true test of your mental, physical, and spiritual tenacity, taking you to the depths of love and frustration ... nothing, no occupation on earth, quite compares.
And RE: my unhappy women are like unhappy racial minorities - to clarify, it's sort of a learned helplessness situation. If you look at some of the animal testing in psychology with learned helplessness, it's pretty depressing and unfortunately kind of applicable to human beings. Also, humans tend to model the behavior by observation, not just personal experience. Minorities and women have become so used to hearing the historic abuses of the system, where old white men tell us all how it is, that, even though so much social progress has been made, many people are still holding on to the idea that the cards are stacked against us. And now, when we're in this unfair situation that has been forced upon us, whether it's taking care of children and home or life in a ghetto on welfare, we feel stuck, with no choices or opportunities (at least not as much as THEY have) and we hate it, but what can you do? Sit around and complain. Learned helplessness.
As a mom, when I was able to change around my thinking (thanks in part to the book Man's Search For Meaning, Victor Frankl). Staying at home became my choice (and it always was, being a US citizen, I just resented it). When I gave up the martyr attitude, I was free to ENJOY motherhood.
As a poor girl on welfare (even though not a racial minority), I realized that education was the key for me to get out of poverty. People complain that they can't afford college, I think that is CRAP! The banks LOVE to give out student loans, and at 18 you can work all day and night and it sucks, but you survive. America today is not America of 50 years ago. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I do not believe there are nearly as many barriers to minority success as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would tell us. I'm sure there are challenges unique to people of color, but there are unique challenges to women, and regular old white guys, too. Anyone in America can be successful if they CHOOSE to be.
I also worry about the cyclone victims in Myanmar and the earthquake victims in China.
And about my son's now sprouting carrot seeds, the garden didn't get prepared ... I'm giving birth next week ...
I don't even have a car seat. And only like 5 newborn sized diapers ... that'll last me an hour. Maybe. And I really want a stroller ... oh yeah, and a place to put her! ARG, 7 days???? What have I been doing all these past months???
Canon wanted me to take a picture of his tummy, too:
5 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
Congratulations on the delivery date and thanks for the response.
In discussing women's texts, I'd like to hear your view of a text we read in one of my w.s. classes: "The Angel Over the Right Shoulder" by Elizabeth Stuart Phelps. I think there are copies online, although they aren't as enjoyable to read as the printed page. It's a short story (about 9 pages).
I know you're getting everything ready in preparation for the big day, so if you don't have time perfectly understandable, maybe just keep it in mind for later.
It was written in 1852, so it's a true product of nineteenth-century style, but it's still relevant.
Phelps was among the women that Hawthorne derisively called that "d----d mob of scribbling women," as you know, mostly because he was threatened by them. Unfortunately, Hawthorne's comments to his publisher were taken as gospel by male critics and women's texts were seen as silly and frivolous because they discussed domestic issues, which most literary men didn't deem important. But of course, they were important and are still today.
Congratulations on your upcoming big day. You must be very excited.
I used to work managing a really good surgeon's practice for about 6 years (he was the vice-chair of the entire department). I just wanted to make sure to mention that you might want to talk to your doctor about who will be on staff over Memorial Day weekend (doctor and hospital). The surgeon I worked for was always concerned about doing surgery right before holiday weekends since, as he put it, the A-team staff was routinely replaced by the B-team staff.
Anyway, I do not want to rain on the parade, but I couldn't not mention it to you or I would feel guilty.
You probably already had this discussion and went into your thinking. It otherwise would be a great day to have it since your husband would automatically have Memorial Day off to be with you!
Congratulations again! I bet you can't wait to see your little one!
One more thing--I love the picture of Canon's belly!
I just now came across a name I wanted to share with you...
Saren.
Just thought it was interesting.
Hope you are getting your rest!
PS--It comes from a Brothers Grimm fairy tale.
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