I got a wonderful Christmas present last year.
{background}My husband LOVES surprising me when he buys me stuff. There is none of that "what do you want for Christmas/birthday/anniversary/groundhog's day this year sweetheart? He takes a plunge, spends too much money and I love it. He once bought me a lovely stand up jewelry box thing, all fancy and tall, he got me cordless headphones which I will use much more when I don't have small children to always be listening for, he got me a keyboard that now sits in our sons room. Last year for Christmas he bought me a 20GB (that stand for gigabop)IPOD. I didn't know what to do with it or what it really was for. For the wife of a computer science genius, I am a bit techno-phobic. Anyway, so an ipod can hold all your music, all the CD's and (il)legal downloaded music you have. My 20 GB has 2200+ songs and is less than half full. And you can download whatever song is stuck in your head for 99 cents and own it forever. I have spent countless hours organizing playlists for all my moods, for my children, to jazzercise to.
Now, I admit it, I love my IPOD. To me, it is worth .... the original $200, plus all my CD's- so if we say each was $10 (and most were more) that puts us at like $2000 or more, plus the downloads .. another $2-300 or so ... plus the sentimental value of having any song I want any time I want as long I remember to charge her up ... so we're talking $14,873,874.67, exactly. But I thought I loved it like I love the furniture, like I love my favorite coco mug, the big white fluffy towel my husband and I fight to dry off with. If they were lost in a fire, I would be sad, not devastated, they are just things, not people, not irreplaceable.
Then, I found out I was wrong about the IPOD. I love it like I love my children, maybe more (I cringe to admit it).
When my kids get hurt my brain suddenly switches to action mommy, where I know what to do and am calm, the eye of the hurricane. I am useful and I can fix them.
Yesterday (or a few days ago rather) I had the squirmy baby in one hand, the IPOD in the other. It was feeding time for baby, I set the IPOD on the counter, but I missed and it fell to the floor. I could see its guts - wirey and green. I screamed. Like my blood curdling scream. My 4 yr old came in and asked "what's wrong?" I screamed again, and yelled "NNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then a teardrop fell from my eye.
I couldn't do anything. Frozen with grief. I suddenly knew I'd never be happy again, all my music, the soundtrack of my life, was gone. GONE! Oh stupid gravity, fat heavy earth! Worthless friction, never enough when you need it. Darn Newton all to heck. Stupid horrible man and his stupid horrible laws and theories and formulas. I HATE HIM!
Then I looked a little closer. My IPOD itself was still intact ... the magic little attachment that allows my IPOD to play over FM radio was smashed open, but the IPOD was whole. Gently I picked it all up (after strapping baby into his highchair). The IPOD was still functioning. I wept with joy. "It's going to be okay," I tell my confused children. "It's going to be okay."
I told my 4 year old he should never love any THING, things get lost, stolen, broken. Only invest love in people. He told me he loved his toys and his Superman costume. Poor boy, its too late. I just hope I can protect him from the pain. Or help him to deal with it anyway.
So, my IPOD is okay, I even fixed the FM thing on my own. But i am much more careful with my IPOD. And I know someday I will lose or drop it. Or on morning it just won't work anymore. And even though IPODs will get bigger and better ... there will never never be another IPOD like my IPOD. I love my IPOD.
I think, I hope it has a soul. Then we will meet again in heaven, mother and child. And I will be happy again forever.
5 Brilliant Bits of Inspiration:
i laughed until i cried (i guess that's a little insensitive:)over your moment of terror and the hubby did as well. he thinks you're every bit as good as patrick mcmanus(sp?), which is a compliment, by the way:)
just re-reading, "fat heavy earth" is my favorite part BTW.......
I can totally relate. I love iPods. They're shiny and magical. Just last night I bought a movie on iTunes, stuck it on my iPod, put the iPod in its TV dock and watched a movie without that jerk Blockbuster. But only my wife watched. I just admired my iPod making my life and the world a better place.
I curse gravity almost daily. And, man, Newton was such a freak. One of his proudest accomplishments was that he died a virgin in his 80's. How can we trust someone like that?
I fear I will be writing an obituary soon ... I have been putting it off, hoping for a miracle cure, but I think my iPod may be ... obsolete. iTunes no longer acknowledges its existence and my husband deleted the iPod's internal library ... I have not yet come to terms with it what this means ... my iPod sits in it's iHome, fully charged, but nothing of what made me love it is left inside ... I'm like the spouse of an Alzheimers patient ...
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